He’s Stressed About His Girlfriend’s Spending Habits, but Fears Bringing It Up Will Sound Controlling
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The adjustment from college life to real life can be jarring. It’s not always easy to find a job right out of college, and budgeting can be challenging.
Imagine living with your partner right out of college, but you’re the only one with a job. What would you do if you thought your partner was spending too much money, and this money we’re talking about is your money because she’s using your credit card. Would you encourage her to find a job, or would you talk to her about cutting back on spending?
In this story, one man is in this situation, and he doesn’t want to come across as controlling; however, he really is worried about how quickly his girlfriend is spending his money.
Keep reading for all the details and to see if you think he should say something to her about her spending habits or not.
AITA for feeling like I need to have a tough conversation with my girlfriend about money now that she’s moved in?
My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been together for four years, the last two of which were long distance.
She recently moved from our home state in the Southeast (of the US) to live with me in a Northeast city after graduating college.
From a relationship standpoint, things have honestly been great – we’re closer than ever. But I’m starting to worry about how she’s transitioning from student life to adulthood, and I’m not sure how to best support her without enabling bad habits.
She definitely doesn’t know how to stick to a budget.
I make around $70k a year and set her up with a credit card under my name to help her get started.
I gave her a monthly budget of $300 for spending money and $500 for groceries (which is meant to cover both of us).
But she’s already gone over budget in June (her first half-month here), and again in July, and we’re only a week or so in.
He’s not sure how to talk to her without sounding controlling.
She hasn’t found a job yet, and she doesn’t leave the apartment much.
I know it’s a big adjustment, and I want to be patient, but I also feel like this could become a pattern if we don’t talk about it soon.
I’m not trying to be controlling or nitpicky, but I do think there needs to be a serious conversation about expectations.
AITA for thinking it’s time to bring this up? And if not, how do I approach it in a way that’s helpful, not hurtful?
Maybe she shouldn’t be using a credit card. Maybe she should pay cash. Then, she can see when the money’s gone.
Let’s see what Reddit suggests.
This person thinks they should’ve discussed this sooner.
Another person thinks the girlfriend’s spending is a red flag.
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Everyone seems to think it’s important to have this discussion right away.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a disabled man who is considering cutting off his friends because they take advantage of him.
But this person has questions.
It is possible that her spending isn’t frivolous. Unless he has done the grocery shopping, he may not realize what things cost. If she’s simply shopping from a list or buying the types of foods they like, it’s possible that the bills adds up faster than either one of them realize.
They need to look at receipts together and decide to either cut back on what they’re spending, or speed up her job search so they can afford the things they (or she) want.
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