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Every family is different and has different levels of comfort for things like talking about finances.

What would you do if your sister kept asking you how much money you had in your savings account even though you had made it very clear that you weren’t comfortable sharing this with her?

That is the situation that the woman in this story is in, and now that she is looking for an apartment, her older sister is pushing even harder for this information. So, the little sister put it bluntly that she doesn’t want to say, and now her older sister is saying that this shows that they aren’t really close.

I think it is very odd that the older sister would put so much pressure on her about this. Read through the full story below, and see if you agree.

AITA for not telling my sister my savings

I’m (21F) the youngest and my sister (30F) and I have a pretty okay relationship, we typically talk about everything, fight, get back to normal.

A few years ago she used to ask me what’s in my bank account and I just hadn’t shared that with someone before.

I also am not a very confrontational person and find direct questions like that pretty bold. She’s asked me repeatedly (prob atleast 3-4 times).

I always say I’m not telling her, and our convo would turn awkward.

Med school can be very expensive.

Once we had a bigger fight about it, and she did apologize saying she needs to respect boundaries and she’s working on it, which I appreciated.

Recently, I got into med school which is a huge financial burden and my sister’s been through it already.

How much she has in savings is really none of her business; why does she keep asking?

I was looking for a place to live and talking about my line of credit, how I don’t wanna use my savings, and she asked me indirectly how much my bank account was reaching super slyly (“oh like near 100k?”).

I said I’m not gonna get into that.

She kinda blew up saying she hates when I restrict information, call it a boundary for no reason, and she said she’s only asking so she can help me.

Honestly, it does seem like her sister is obsessed with money. That is a red flag.

I brought up how many times she’s asked in the past, and how those weren’t instances I needed help. I’ve gotten through undergrad by myself, and I hope to do the same now (ik this is a different beast).

She said I’m not telling her my savings because I’m scared she’s going to ask for money and that I have a superiority complex.

I told her that is not the case at all and I was shocked that’s the vibe she’s getting. I explained that more than the savings number, I just don’t want to tell her because of how adamant she’s been on knowing and how I just don’t like people getting what they want through sheer force like that.

She called me stubborn, said she’s just looking out for me, and that it’s hard to help someone who’s moving with so many boundaries and trying to be too independent which might screw me over down the line.

Some families are comfortable talking about money, others aren’t.

I wasn’t asking for help on how to finance anything, more so just the place/roommate situation but I wouldnt refuse her help if she had advice on banking/credit/etc.

I don’t know if this is something families typically are open about and discuss?

She said what makes us family if we are hiding stuff like this.

There is really no reason to share this information if she isn’t comfortable with it.

She has also willingly shared random financial facts about herself which I never asked for. She said she’s very open and thinks it’s weird that I don’t do the same in our relationship.

I also am left unsure of what to think, especially because I don’t know why I set this boundary, I don’t care about my savings number, I just don’t like other people having that much control.

Am I wrong for wanting that level of control over what I share?

Am I just being weird about not being open?

AITA?

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It is really weird that her sister is so obsessed with getting this information. I don’t see any reason why she should share it if she doesn’t want to.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit say about it.

Here is someone who says not to disclose finances to anyone.

Finances should be private.

Sharing finances is rarely a good idea.

This commenter thinks her sister wants to borrow money.

You can be close without knowing each other’s finances.

The fact that she won’t let this go indicates that she has bad intentions. Whether she wants to borrow money or straight up ask for it for some reason, this is a giant red flag, in my opinion.

This young lady has already made it clear that she doesn’t want to share the information. Now it is time to enforce strict boundaries on this topic.

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Author

Michael Levanduski