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Shared houses can get crowded fast when extra people quietly become part of the arrangement.

One tenant pays more (key words there: PAYS. MORE.) for a loft with a private bathroom, only to hear suggestions that other roommates’ boyfriends should start using it.

What sounds like a practical fix to everyone else feels a lot more invasive when the bathroom sits inside his bedroom.

See how this illogical one plays out.

AITA for not sharing my private bathroom with roommates

I live in a big shared house with originally 4 other people.

The way the house lay out works is 3 floors with the second one having a main bathroom and all 4 of my roommates rooms and the third being my room which is like a bigger loft room with a private bathroom right in the middle of it (i pay extra for the bigger room and bathroom).

But the place is really filling up.

Everything had been going pretty smoothly up till recently, the “issue” if you could say started with one roommate who was supposed to move out ended up staying and moved in with her boyfriend (who was already subleasing a room last lease so he was one of the original 4).

Another roommate’s boyfriend is also living with us temporarily, though no one gave me a clear timeframe for how long.

And we’re adding a new roommate to fill the spot we thought would be vacant.

I was starting to get confused at this point until the next summary line jolted me into horrified clarity:

So now, instead of five people using the shared bathroom, there are seven.

If I’m sharing a bathroom with more than 3 people, we’d better be on an airplane.

Now some of my roommates are making comments suggesting that their boyfriends should be able to use my bathroom.

The reasoning is basically that I was “assigned male at birth,” so it supposedly makes more sense for their boyfriends to use my space than the main floor bathroom.

It sorta feels like they’re trying to gradually justify this as a communal solution.

And while I’m usually fine with our house being a very shared, open environment, I draw the line at my actual bedroom being treated like a public access bathroom.

And that’s the important element – it’s attached to the bedroom.

Now to be clear I was told about the additional people moving in and I said it was fine, since I have my own space and assumed that wouldn’t really affect me.

But now it’s starting to feel like I’m being expected to make compromises I never agreed to, in the name of convenience for everyone else.

They’re putting a foot down.

I’m planning to set a firm boundary and let them know that my bathroom is private, full stop.

But I can already see them acting like I’m being unhelpful or overprotective of my space.

AITA for refusing to let my roommates’ boyfriends use my bathroom, even though I agreed to the added housemates and they think it makes sense because of my assigned gender at birth?

Let’s see what the comments say:

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I fail to see what gender identity has to do with this.

Location, location, location.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who stops helping his neighbors out with his snowplow after they complain about his farm.

This is just a crowd.

The roommate agreed to more people living in the house, but never agreed to turn the private bathroom into overflow space for everyone else.

The cleanest solution would be keeping the shared bathroom communal and the bathroom that is paid extra for is exactly what it is: private.

Seven roommates may create a bathroom problem, but your bedroom does not need to become the solution.

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Author

Chris Allen