Having a baby in the family tends to come with an impressive amount of stuff. High chairs, toys, diapers, strollers, portable cribs—somehow one very small human can require the storage capacity of a fully grown adult. But generally, you don’t get to solve that problem by volunteering someone else’s room for the overflow.

One 25-year-old man recently downsized into a smaller home with his mother, where they’re still figuring out how to make everything fit. He has a bedroom and uses the home’s tiny spare room as an office—a space that’s especially important to him considering he says he works 60-hour weeks and spends most of his limited downtime there.

His sister, meanwhile, lives just five minutes away with her husband and 20-month-old son. Their mother sometimes helps with childcare, which apparently inspired Sis to purchase an additional crib for Grandma’s new house.

There was just one small problem: nobody had actually agreed to make room for it.

And when it became clear the crib wouldn’t fit in Mom’s bedroom, his sister found another solution. His office. His belongings. And, apparently, his “sacrifice” to make.

AITA for not letting my sister put a crib in my computer room?

I (M25) am currently living with my mother. We recently moved to a semi, a downsize but worked for us. We are still settling in, but currently struggling to make space for a few things due to the smaller rooms and the lack of storage.

My sister (F32), lives with her husband about 5 minutes away. My nephew is 20 months old and my mom and my sister’s MIL take turns taking care of him at my sister’s house when needed.

Without asking my mom first, she had bought two cribs to put in our house and her MIL’s house.

Oh geez.

She had bought this before seeing our new house and has been very pushy and passive aggressive towards my mother on getting it set up.

My mom kept telling her there isn’t any space in her bedroom for the crib, and once we settled in a bit my sister finally took a look and realized that there was no space.

I have my own bedroom, and the spare room we have is my office. This is the smallest room in the house, I have my computer desk, a bookshelf, an old box TV I very recently purchased for VHS/games and a record player I haven’t set up and some boxes that have to be gone through still.

Doesn’t seem fair.

My sister went into my office while I was at work and started suggesting to my mom on what I can get rid of/move to make space for the crib, (eg. I can get a smaller desk, get rid of the old TV, get a new bedframe with drawers to store extra things, mount the TV in my bedroom so I can have more space on the dresser it is sitting on).

Who is expected to pay for that idk. Besides the point, she still has yet to ask me if the crib can go in my office.

She never consulted with me about it, or even discussed it with me until today.

Not cool.

I posted a story on Instagram of my box TV playing Zelda, as I decorated the room and it looked nice. She replied saying “Move it to your room” with a laughing emoji.

I replied saying my room barely has space for my bed as is. She replied “Well figure it our cause the crib is coming in one way or another. Sacrifices.”

I told her that the living room is quite spacious since that is the only area with open space. She said “He is not sleeping in the living room, move your TV down there.”

And then you let her have it…

I let her know that the office is really the only place I spend majority of my evenings/nights in. I work 60 hour weeks and when I do have the free time to spend, I spend it in there, it’s not really suitable for a crib for my nephew to sleep in cause I’d be in there most nights.

I asked her how big the crib was and she replied with “Crib. This is what happens when we downsize. Gotta work with the space we’ve got. You can not be in there for one night every once in a while. There’s probably a lot that is a want, but is not a need.” I haven’t really replied to her since.

Does she really need this 3rd crib in our house? She never once asked me to do her a favor and instead starting making demands. Again, the living room has plenty of space, and we would be willing to accommodate her there, despite her not ever consulting with myself or my mom first.

Commenters overwhelmingly sided with the brother, calling him NTA and pointing out one fairly glaring issue: his sister is acting like she gets to assign space in a house where she doesn’t live.

The crib itself isn’t an outrageous idea. If Grandma regularly watches her grandson, having a dedicated sleeping setup could certainly be convenient. But convenience doesn’t turn a purchase into an obligation—especially when the crib was bought before his sister had even seen the new house or asked whether anyone wanted it there.

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What really pushed readers over the edge was the way she approached his office. She didn’t ask whether he’d consider making room. Instead, she entered the space while he was at work, started identifying his possessions that could be removed and eventually told him to “figure it out” because the crib was coming “one way or another.” That’s an impressive amount of authority to claim over somebody else’s square footage.

And her argument that some of his belongings are “wants” rather than “needs” doesn’t hold much weight. It’s his home. He’s allowed to have a TV, a computer setup, records and hobbies without proving that they’re more essential than a third crib for a child who lives five minutes away.

There are also plenty of alternatives. A portable crib could potentially be stored when it’s not being used, or the family could find a temporary setup in another appropriate area of the house. What they don’t need to do is permanently convert someone’s frequently used office into an occasional nursery simply because a full-size crib has already been purchased.

Sacrifices certainly come with having children. But commenters were quick to point out the rather important detail his sister seems to have missed: she’s the one who had the child. Her brother doesn’t automatically inherit the sacrifices.

This person has one smart suggestion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who finally blew up after years of being treated as the second-best sibling.

This person says this is not her home and doesn’t make the rules.

This person says there is NO reason she needs to be giving anyone a hard time.

Pexels/Reddit

“It takes a village” does not mean the village has to surrender its home office.

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Author

Diana Whelan

Diana Whelan | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Diana Whelan is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter specializing in family dynamics, viral internet culture, and interpersonal relationships. Drawing on her extensive professional background as a senior copywriter in the digital marketing space, Diana excels at transforming community-driven conversations and trending social media debates into relatable, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating online drama, Diana brings a balanced, humorous, and empathetic editorial voice to everyday dilemmas and parenting moments. She has a keen eye for finding the human element at the center of complex relationship conflicts and viral social trends.

Outside of writing, Diana is usually spending time with her husband and two kids, planning elaborate themed parties, or chasing down new family adventures. Fueled by a little too much caffeine and a love for a well-placed pun, she can often be found unwinding with a glass of wine and her very patient golden retriever.

Connect with Diana on LinkedIn and Instagram.