She Covered His Rent and Bills for Five Years—Then He Demanded $30,000 for a “Can’t-Lose” Investment Scheme
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Supporting family can be generous, but gratitude disappears quickly when voluntary help gets rewritten as lifelong debt.
Would you surrender another $30,000 after already sending nearly $40,000, or finally question where all that money went?
For one married woman, refusing her father’s newest demand triggered insults, guilt, and claims that she still owed him everything.
Check out how she handled the pressure.
AITA for refusing to give my dad the $30K he says I owe him, even though I’ve supported him monthly for years?
“I (31F) got into a job right after college at 21.
I used to send 75% of my salary home to support my family.
My father paid for my education by going into debt, and we were three daughters with no male figure to “support” the family as expected in my culture.
I was raised to be that person.
I got married at 24. It was a love marriage, which is rare in my culture, but shockingly, my father agreed.
I had always said I’d support my parents, and I meant it.
She’s done a lot for her family.
After marriage, I moved abroad and promised my dad I’d help financially once I started earning. I never mentioned an amount—just said I’d support him.
For the first four years, I kept my word.
Paid for my sister’s hostel, their medical bills, and sent a solid amount monthly (around $500–$700, which is significant in my home country).
Even when I tried to run a business during COVID and it failed, I still sent money. I wasn’t working, but I found a way.
Her dad threw her a curveball.
Then my father asked me for $30,000—yes, 30K USD—saying he’d use it to repay his debts and fund my sister’s wedding.
He said if I gave him that, I wouldn’t need to send anything after.
But I was unemployed, so I said no. He then told my husband to take a loan and give it to him.
He said it was my “duty” since I promised to support him.
I refused.
That’s when things got worse. He started subtly disrespecting my husband—who, by the way, has been the one sending money for the past 3 years while I dealt with a medical issue.
My dad knows this, but still throws passive-aggressive remarks when we visit. He even said once, “I invested in the wrong daughter.”
It’s been 7 years since I got married, and we have not skipped even one month of sending money—even through job loss, illness, or disrespect. Two years ago, after the insult to my husband, I cut the amount in half but didn’t stop.
Her dad sounds like a real bum.
He still thinks I’m the villain and that my husband “turned me against him.” Ironically, my husband’s the one who kept the support going.
Also—after I got married, my dad literally stopped working, expecting me to handle the family’s entire financial needs. I said I’d support—not replace him.
Now I’m financially better, and yes, I could send more. But the emotional trauma, guilt-tripping, and disrespect during my lowest years crushed me. So I stick to the reduced amount.
So here I am. Still sending money. Still carrying guilt. Still being accused of being a manipulative daughter who “used” her father just to marry the man she loved.
AITA for refusing to give him the $30K he once asked for and for not increasing the amount now, even though I technically could?”
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Reddit users spoke up.
This person said she’s NTA.
Another individual agreed.
This reader shared their thoughts.
Another Reddit user spoke up.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who decides to mute her boss’s number after he insists on calling her at home after hours.
And this person shared their thoughts.
OP refused her father’s $30,000 demand after contributing nearly $40,000 and continuing monthly payments without receiving any transparent accounting.
Folks online overwhelmingly supported her, saying that she had already given more than enough and needed to shut down the family money pipeline.
Dad confused raising a daughter with opening a high-yield investment account featuring unlimited withdrawals and absolutely no customer-service complaints.
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