When you are just starting out in your career, it can be hard to find a good job, so you may have to take something that isn’t exactly what you planned.

What would you do if you got a job offer, but it was in a dangerous neighborhood, so your mother was trying to talk you out of taking it?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, but she wanted to take the job anyway. So, her mother brought her aunt over to try to talk her into it, which made her mad, so she kind of went off on her aunt. Now her mother is demanding she apologize.

Read through the full story below and see if you think she owes her an apology.

AITA for telling my aunt that she can pay my student loans?

I(25F) just received a job offer in a major city. I have been essentially unemployed since February, so I am extremely excited and relieved to have an opportunity to have stable employment again.

Her mother’s concerns are valid.

I currently live with my parents. Both of parents, but especially my mom(55F), have been upset about me getting a job in the city because she is worried about me driving due to her own fear of city traffic.

When I got the offer, she also looked up the neighborhood my new employer is located in, and found that it is a predominantly black, highly impoverished neighborhood with a higher than average crime rate.

Being careful is important, but you can’t live your life in fear.

She has been trying very hard to dissuade me from taking the job, as she is terrified that as a young white girl, I will stand out and either become the victim of a crime or get hurt on the road.

I have been arguing back and forth with my parents about this since I initially received the offer on Thursday. I have to commit to the job by Tuesday, and my family has been encouraging me to take other interviews.

Mom seems a bit controlling.

I work in education: if I wait too much longer to land a job, I might not get one at all. While I do still have interviews scheduled, I am not turning down these jobs over a “maybe”. This logic upsets my mom even more.

Well, after yet another argument yesterday, I went for a drive to get out of the house. When I arrived home about an hour and a half later, my mom was sitting in the backyard with my aunt (58F).

My mom had shared the situation with my aunt, and my aunt was somehow even more negative about my new job than my parents are.

Honestly, it is none of the aunt’s business.

She told me blatantly that I should reject the job offer because I will surely end up being a victim of a crime. She also pointed out that I would be the minority in this neighborhood.

I told her that I did not care. She said that my safety is worth more than any amount my new employer could pay me. After a little back and forth, I snapped “Well, then you can pay my student loans”.

She makes a good point.

My aunt replied “yeah, right, I’ll get right on that” in a sarcastic tone. Then, my mom jumped to her sister’s defense and told me that I was being unreasonable, and that regardless of my job, “I’ll never pay off my student loans anyway”.

She also told me to “pause my loans” because I am enrolled in a Master’s program. I literally have $100 to my name right now, I need the job regardless of if I pause my payments.

It was rude to spring her aunt on her like this.

Now, my mom is demanding that I apologize to her sister for being so rude to her, which I am refusing to do.

I have talked to my friends about this and they are split: some think I should apologize and others feel I was justified.

Nah, snapping like that was understandable. If she wants to try to keep the peace, she can apologize, but that is it.

Things have been very tense since this happened. I know it was a sassy comment said out of frustration, but was saying that really out of line?

AITA?

The mom was out of line for bringing the aunt into this. Honestly, the mom is out of line for trying to be so controlling, even if it comes from a good place.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this conflict.

Wow, this is pretty extreme.

Here is someone who says she said the right thing.

This commenter says she needs to take control of her life.

She needs a job, even if it isn’t perfect.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who thinks her daughter should have planned a whole two-week vacation around her needs.

This commenter thinks she is controlling.

While her mother and aunt have her best interests at heart, they are wrong to pressure her like this. She may want to apologize just to keep the peace, but she can still keep the job.