Woman Is Already Grieving Her Relationship, Miscarriages, And Failed IVF, But Now Her Own Mom Is Excluding Her From Social Gatherings
Canva
It’s a cruel truth that some people who desperately want a baby are unable to have one the natural way. And this can be for many reasons. Whether it’s that you or your partner are facing the realities of infertility, whether you don’t have a partner, or whether you do but your partner doesn’t have the necessary apparatus so to speak, there are all kinds of people in all kinds of situations that lead them to follow an IVF pathway.
And for some folk, IVF works and gives them the baby they always dreamt of. But there’s no question that IVF is expensive and not the right route for everyone. Because while it increases your chances of successful pregnancy, there’s also a significant chance that it won’t work, and you’ll be left wondering whether to save up and try again, whether to look into adoption instead, or whether to accept that you won’t be having children.
The woman in this story is at that particular junction, and understandably it’s really tough on her. But the woman that she needs to lean on, her mom, doesn’t seem to understand – and worse, she’s now leaving her out of things too.
Read on to find out more.
AITA when my mom intentionally leaves me out?
Back in 2021, both my brothers were having their first child a month apart.
This was hard for me, the oldest and only daughter with multiple miscarriages, but I was so happy for them.
During COVID, I became obsessed with golf. I played almost everyday for the couple of years that I could swing it.
My mom played as well, and I became really good friends with all of the golf ladies. My mom and I were co-chairs or the WGA social committee and did a great job!
But then something changed.
One day, I was golfing with my boyfriend at the time and heard my mom’s laugh, which is recognizable from a mile away.
I walked up to the club to say hi, and there were 30+ women there with presents, cake, decorations, etc. it was my mom’s “grandmother sprinkle” that I wasn’t invited to.
I mentioned that it hurt my feelings that I wasn’t invited, since these are the first grandkids and all my golf friends were present and invited me to everything else (it seemed to me to be that my mom had told them not to invite me, but I have never said that to her).
She told me it wasn’t her fault and she had no control over who was invited. But she never even told me about it or invited me.
Unfortunately though, this wasn’t a one-off.
Since Covid, my once super close and large friend group fractured. Also, my IVF failed, and my relationship ended. I’ve been so alone.
I walked into my mom’s book club last week and although her friends love me, I could tell my mom didn’t want me there.
I told my dad about how I felt and my mom sent me a text the next day that said “I’m glad you’re my daughter”.
So today (a month later), I asked her if I could be added to the book club, but she said that she didn’t know because they can’t replace a lady that died of cancer a year ago.
Read on to find out how she felt about that.
I told her how much I needed it and that no one would say no… they love me! And I referenced the baby thing. She got so angry with me and hung up.
She knows I have had multiple miscarriages and failed IVF. She constantly mentions adoption (cause Hoda! And other celebs that can afford that ****?) or dotes on baby clothes in stores when she knows it is very difficult for me to process the inability to have natural children.
I spent all my savings on IVF. I have no money for adoption. She knows this.
She’s never treated me like she actually likes me, but am I wrong to bring up past hurts?
You really have to feel for this woman who is clearly going through a tough time.
And while her mom has no obligation to invite her to things, she could definitely be more sensitive.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
Her daughter needs her right now.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.
This person encouraged her to find friends of her own.
While others thought that maybe her mom was trying to do her a favour.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.
But others thought that her mom wasn’t even trying to understand her daughter’s feelings.
The truth is, the Covid era is in the past now, and her days with the golfing group seem to be over. That is sad, because she clearly felt like she found her people, but since life has resumed people’s priorities have changed. And the moment that they chose not to invite her to her mom’s party, they made their choice. Sadly, this young woman has been left friendless and without the her relationship – as well as still grieving her miscarriages and failed IVF. That must feel awful, and she absolutely needs someone who will listen to her without the judgement and ‘suggestions’ she’s constantly getting from her mom.
It’s clear that this woman needs to find her own social circle, away from her mom and the folk who will always favour her mom, no matter how much they might like her. Sure, that’s hard to achieve as an adult, but spending time doing some different social hobbies will absolutely lead her to meeting a new group of people who might be closer to her age and might be more empathetic than her mom. It’s gruelling, meeting new people, but when you find the right folk it’s absolutely worth it.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
