You’d think two people who care about staying clean could agree on what counts as a shower.

But that’s exactly what one man and his wife ended up arguing about.

It started when she called him gross for showering every other day. She said she showers every night, and he should do the same, though she admitted he didn’t smell.

So he pointed out that most nights she just rinses off and saves the soap and shampoo for her weekly “everything shower.”

Well, that didn’t go over well, and now he’s wondering if he went too far when he told her she wasn’t as clean as she thought.

Read on to see how you feel about this whole thing.

AITA for telling my wife she’s not as clean as she thinks she is

My wife (29F) called me (30M) “gross” for only showering every second day.

She tells me, “It’s really disgusting that you don’t shower every day. I always like to stay clean, so I shower every night so that I am not smelly.”

I ask her if she thinks I smell, and she says no, but then continues to call me “gross,” “unhygienic,” and a “pig” for not showering all the time like SHE does.

When she didn’t get what he was saying, he turned it into an analogy.

I felt she was being a little harsh with her words, so I fight back and say, “Your ‘showers’ are barely ‘showers.’ They are more of a rinse. You are not really cleaning anything, so you’re actually not as clean as you claim to be.”

She understandably got pretty mad at me, but here’s where I’m conflicted. My wife’s everyday “showers” consist of her standing under the water and letting it roll off her body. No body wash, no shampoo or conditioner, just water, unless she has her one day a week “everything shower,” which consists of all of the above.

To me, this isn’t a proper shower because nothing is really being cleaned without any soap. I explain this to my wife, and she disagrees, so I ask, “If you were doing dishes and had lots of sauce on the plate, would rinsing it under the water make it clean, or would scrubbing the dirt with soap make it clean?”

He doesn’t stink, so he’s not sure why she says he’s dirty.

She tells me that my example is completely different from having a shower and that I am still dirty.

I can understand where people may also agree that I am gross for not showering every day, but my showers always consist of a routine of body scrubs, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, scented lotion, and sprays, and I am always aware of when I may get a little bit smelly and always act on it immediately.

I know I don’t stink. My wife confirmed this, and honestly, most men don’t have as extensive a routine as I do, and I feel as though a deep clean every second day is better than a “rinse” every day.

AITA?

Wow. There’s a lot to unpack here.

Let’s start by seeing what the fine folks over at Reddit thought about what we just read.

It does feel like it’s about something else.

Here’s what an everything shower means to this person.

She definitely needs to tone it down.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who invites her groom’s “best woman” out to dinner in order to get to the bottom of her true feelings for her future husband.

Here’s someone else who explains and everything shower.

What’s the point of even saying something like that?

It’s fine if she likes to shower every night, but calling him a pig because he doesn’t was out of line.

And while it’s easy to see why he got defensive, comparing her showers to rinsing a dirty plate probably didn’t help.

Either way, it’s time for these two to sit down and have a real conversation. Because it sounds like they have some underlying issues with each other.