There is a push to accept all choices as far as marriage and children as acceptable and legit, which is great – but sometimes, you just have to give as good as you get, right?

OP is a married woman who works and who makes as much or more money than her husband. For reasons she doesn’t disclose to us, her husband recently took her last name, and the people at his work are giving him a hard time for it.

This whole saga started because my husband took my last name. A couple weeks ago he got his workplace to change it, and his coworkers found out.

About half of them think this is the funniest thing ever and about half are deeply offended. Brenda is in the offended half, and has made that clear.

The other pertinent piece of information is that she and he are both in the work group chat, to help arrange rides and such.

He and I are in a group chat with his coworkers where we organize carpooling during the pandemic. It is very helpful to us, so we can’t leave the chat.

Since he changed his name, my husband and I have been dealing with a lot of dumb jokes in the chat, which we have been mostly ignoring.

One of them really got into mocking OP for not being a very good wife, saying she was going to end up divorced if she didn’t do a better job, etc.

Yesterday Brenda, his coworker and I got into a bit of a spat.

I messaged the group asking if someone could take my husband home since I wouldn’t be back from work until late and needed the car. One of his other coworkers agreed, and I thought that was that.

Brenda messages the group saying “maybe if you spent less time at work and more time being a wife, your husband wouldn’t come into work with dirty shirts”

I took this as a bad joke initially. My husband is a rural mail carrier, so his shirts look like shirts worn by someone in 90 degree heat on dusty roads. I do wash them, but there’s only so much to be done.

Me: I could make cleaning those shirts my full-time job and it wouldn’t do much lol

Brenda: you won’t be married very long if you keep trying to be the man in the relationship. I’d be embarrassed as a wife if I did so little for my husband

Me: well I work more hours and pay the bills, so I think he can oxyclean his own shirts if it’s so important

So, OP clapped back and now the other woman is saying she insulted her for being single and 40.

Brenda: maybe you should learn to take proper care of your husband or you’ll find yourself divorced.

Me: I’ll let you know when I need relationship advice from someone who is 42 and single.

Now apparently Brenda is going around and saying that I “mocked her for being single in her 40s”.

OP says she doesn’t understand why the woman mocking her marriage is ok but the opposite isn’t.

I don’t care if someone is single in their 40s, but I think it’s absolute nonsense that she can call me a bad wife but I can’t point out she has no frame of reference.

AITA reddit?

Does Reddit have an answer? Let’s find out!

The top comment says Brenda needs to mind her business.

This person agrees, stating that Brenda sounds jealous.

They even suspect she might like the husband.

This commenter agrees, saying that Brenda is fantasizing about how she would do it better.

And this person says if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.

I have to agree that the woman was asking for it.

Some people just don’t know when to quit.