Receiving a house as a gift might sound like a dream come true, but when a father-in-law’s generosity comes with controlling strings attached, it quickly turns into a nightmare.

For one daughter-in-law, a supposedly kind gesture has become a source of tension, leading her to tell her FIL, “No thanks.”

Read on for the story!

AITA for telling my FIL that I don’t want the house he bought us?

My FIL is generous man, but has what he refers to as “the jerk gene” meaning that he doesn’t stop to consider what anyone else wants in many situations.

Since my husband and I have been living with my husband’s brother, FIL decided that when the neighbor’s house went on the market for a steal, he’d buy us the house.

Well, that sounds generous.

After consulting with his financial planner, the decision was made to have both FIL and my husband on the title/deed to the house.

We would pay all taxes and utilities, and when FIL passes, husband would inherit the house.

Here’s where it gets messy. The house needs a lot of work.

Originally, husband and I were going to be responsible for improvements and repairs, so I started meeting with contractors and getting estimates for the work.

My husband doesn’t know much about home repair or renovation, and I do (my family has renovated multiple old homes) so he’s been letting me handle all of the work with the contractors.

Still generous? Unclear.

Even so, FIL will not speak directly to me about anything related to the house.

My poor husband has to play messenger, telling me what his dad wants to do, then telling his dad that I’ve actually got it handled, and want to do something different.

The final straw came today when my husband relayed to me that his dad has said that any permanent changes to the house that cost more than $5,000 have to be approved by him.

Even if we’re paying for them, he wants to sign off on any/all decisions, including tile colors, light fixtures, etc.

So I forwarded all of my communication with the contractor we’d chosen (haven’t signed anything yet) and said that if he wants to make the decisions, then he can make ALL the decisions.

Oh boy.

He will own the house, and we will sign a rental lease when the work is done. He’ll have to pass city inspections for rental units, and abide by all state and local rental law.

Now he’s mad, and I’m ungrateful, selfish and controlling. At this point, I don’t even want the house anymore.

I’m ready to take the cat and go stay with my brother, but I don’t actually want to leave my husband, I’m just sick of catering to his dad’s whims.

When a gift comes with too many conditions, sometimes it’s better to walk away, no matter how nice the wrapping is.

The people of Reddit think there is something majorly wrong with this situation.

This person says the FIL is way too controlling.

This person says the fact that the wife’s name isn’t on the deed is suss.

And this person just wants to bawl out the FIL.

We’ve gotta ask…

Is any house worth the strings attached?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.