A couple expecting their first child had a plan—shared last name, thoughtful names, and no drama.

That changed when the husband’s stepmother made a guilt-laced request: name the baby after the father-in-law, a man known more for being petty than parental.

Now, the mom-to-be is pushing back. Read on for the story.

WIBTA – refusing to name our child after my FIL

My husband (27M) and I (28F) are expecting our first child this November.

We got married last year and we chose my last name as our “family name” (we’re from Europe, so you have to choose the “family name” before getting married, which will be the last name for all of our children).

My husband chose to have my last name and his last name combined with a hyphen. His middle name is his fathers first name (relevant for context).

There’s more family name drama.

We don’t know the gender of the baby yet but we already have a name and middle name for a girl.

With the boys names we haven’t found the perfect one for us yet but we have a few options in mind.

Two weeks ago my husband visited his father and stepmom.

After that he told me, that his stepmom put him aside and told him that his father is pretty upset, that our child won’t have his last name.

(Keep in mind, that my husbands cousins have the same last name and at least one will probably keep the name) and if we can just give our child my father in laws first name to make him happy.

Her husband has a name suggestion.

So now my husband feels bad and wants our possible son to have his fathers name as a second name and not because he wants to keep the tradition with the same second name he has.

Its not necessarily a weird or uncommon name but it was never a name i would have considered for my children, and before two weeks ago we never had the name as an option, not even my husband.

She’s not a fan of her father-in-law.

For context: I really do not like my father in law personality wise. He is often really egotistical, rude, tight with money (which he has more than enough of) and treats especially my husband and others of his family (brother, parents) a lot of times pretty badly.

For example, gifting my husband a bill for Christmas because my husband used the emergency credit card for some grocery shopping when he was still in college and didn’t have a job (the amount was around 200€ for groceries over the span of a year)

Also, “helping” us with our move and sending us a really high bill for that afterwards – professional movers would have been expensive too but a little cheaper than that bill and a lot of our furniture broke because he wasn’t careful enough).

She really doesn’t want to name her child after her father-in-law.

For my husbands sake I do visit his father with him from time to time and attend family gatherings but it feels always really awkward with my FIL (but not with anybody else in that family).

I just can’t wrap my head around naming my child after a person, I really don’t like.

Long story short: would I be the AH if I refuse to give our child my father in laws name as a second name?

Reddit had no trouble picking a side. Naming a child is about love, legacy, and meaning—not pleasing someone who sent their own son a bill for groceries. Sometimes “no” is the most respectful choice you can make—for your child and yourself.

This person says to put (and leave) their foot down.

This person agrees…hold your ground.

And this person says OP is under NO obligation to adhere to her FIL. Nope, not a one.

Not every name deserves to be passed down—especially when it comes wrapped in manipulation and a receipt.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.