Losing a loved one is always upsetting, but for a child the experience can be both traumatic and devastating.

Especially if, as is the case with the man in this story, the lost person is a parent.

Understandably, he wasn’t too happy when his father remarried quickly, and especially when she kept pushing his boundaries.

But it was one thing in particular that really bugged him.

Read on to find out how years of frustration finally came to a head.

AITA for ranting via email to my dad about his wife not being MY angel or savior?

I am eighteen-years-old and male, and my mom died when I was a kid.  My dad remarried three years after her death, and he was always weird about his wife, Beth.

He’d call her our angel and savior, and he talked about her like we both fell in love with her and both chose her. Even before they had kids together he called her the best mom he ever knew and the best wife.

I never called this woman my mom or even my stepmom. The whole thing bugged me, so Beth never left being just “dad’s wife” in my brain.

She loved hearing dad say it and she always had this negative energy when I didn’t say those things too.

Yikes! This weird situation just kept getting worse.

There were times Beth tried to force hugs on me when I had stayed silent about what dad was saying, or if I expressed anything negative. She forced hugs on me in general too, but it was worse when I didn’t agree with my dad.

My dad never noticed. He was so arrogant talking for the two of us that he never even realized I didn’t speak up to agree, or that I never said those things.

Beth did try to be those things, and she really tried hard to earn the mom title from me. She told me that she would never stop, ever. That she knew she could make me love her and wear me down eventually.

I don’t think she was evil about it or even trying to be malicious. I think in her way she thought she was being extra kind and loving. But I hated it.

And all this pushed the young boy to react.

The one time she really annoyed me by saying it, I told her she would never be as good as my mom in my eyes so she should stop trying. She never told my dad but she was upset and I never apologized. I just stayed mad that she kept trying.

Anyway, more recently my dad talked to me before graduation about what I’d say about Beth, and he told me he had written something that he’d like me to say.

I told him I knew what I’d say and I didn’t need anyone’s help. Dad was like ‘cool’. However, his response made me think even then that he expected me to gush about Beth.

But I didn’t mention her at all. Instead, after briefly thanking dad, I gushed about mom and I talked about my love for her and the amazing mom she had been.

Read on to find out how his dad and step-mom reacted.

Everyone but my dad and Beth were like, “oh she’d be so proud” and “that’s lovely”. My dad, however, was mad and Beth looked like she was trying not to sob from heartbreak.

She actually did break down and leave for an hour and came back to talk of mom which made her quiet the rest of the party.

Afterward, my dad left me like twenty voice messages about my lack of praising Beth and how she deserved way better, and why did I tell him I had my thanks for her written already.

But I never said that. Never. That was just how he took what I said.

So he decided to take matters into his own hands.

I didn’t want to call dad and be accused of being cruel to Beth for saying the things I knew I would where she could hear.

So I ranted via email about how Beth’s not MY angel or savior, and how that was all dad’s ******** and that I never ever loved or chose Beth.

I said she didn’t better my life. She wasn’t better than my mom. That I would choose being alone over Beth. I then told dad he never had any right to speak for me like that and **** him for that too.

I told him that his words about her being the best mom ever before she even was one felt like he was ******** on mom. I must have written like 4,000 words before I finished.

Read on to find out how his email went down.

But my dad wasn’t the only person to read it. Beth saw and read it too. This enraged dad, and he demanded I apologize to Beth and make it up to her.

But I haven’t, and I don’t see it happening either. My dad now realizes this too because he asked when I became such a ******* and that I wasn’t raised to be an *******.

I feel like maybe I am in the wrong for how I have refused to accept Beth and because I didn’t even thank her at my graduation.

But I’m not sure I care really.

AITA?

Sure, it might seem on the outside that he has wronged his stepmother by not acknowledging her at all, but honestly? It seems like this dad and stepmom finally understand how he feels, at least.

His dad was in the wrong here for replacing his mom and expecting him to do so too, for comparing Beth to his late wife in earshot of his grieving son, and overall for not facilitating the inevitable pain his son faced after losing his mom so young.

Meanwhile, Beth was wrong to be so pushy, to try to become his mom instead of creating healthy boundaries and understand that while she does care for him, she will never take the place of the woman he has lost.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person pointed out just how much this guy’s dad and stepmom had failed him.

While others explained how to handle a situation like this with respect for the grieving child.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that his dad and stepmom got what they deserved.

The complete lack of understanding and sensitivity towards this grieving child is devastating.

After the loss of his mom, he needed the adults around him to love and support him, to honor her memory, and to help him deal with all the messy feelings that loss brings up.

What he didn’t need was for a new ‘mom’ to suddenly appear in her place, while his dad worshipped her.

What, did they expect him to simply forget about his own mom?

It’s heartbreaking, and it’s no wonder he stood up for his mom in his speech – it seems like it’s only him who will.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.