When you grow up experiencing trauma – whether you realize it at the time or not – it can have unpredictable and distressing effects much later in your life.

And when something happens that reminds your nervous system of the trauma, it can understandably react accordingly, even when the situation you’re facing now really doesn’t compare.

As the woman in this story has discovered, yelling is a significant trigger for her.

But she never expected what would happen when she brought it up with her boyfriend.

Read on to find out how he reacted.

AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop yelling at the TV during football games?

My boyfriend (25, male) and I (23, female) have been dating for two years now and he absolutely loves football.

Like LOVES it.

Every Sunday and some weekdays, he’s always planted himself on our couch (we live together), watched football, and just yells at the TV.

Like screaming at the refs, cursing out the players, cheering loudly when someone makes a good pass, etc.

Let’s see how his girlfriend feels about this.

The problem is, I didn’t grow up in a household where yelling was considered safe. My dad was abusive and whenever he raised his voice, it was almost always followed by something worse.

My boyfriend knows this, and even though I have not one doubt in my mind that he would NEVER lay a hand on me, the sound of him yelling – even when it’s at the tv and never me – makes me really anxious and uncomfortable.

It was never a problem before and we only moved in together this summer, but with football season starting up and still being pretty fresh, I’m worried that it’s already bothering me this much.

I don’t know how much longer I can handle it.

So she decided to try to take action.

Two days ago, I tried to nicely bring it up and was honest, saying his yelling felt aggressive to me and it brings up bad memories.

I asked if he could tone it down or find some other way to get his excited energy out.

He got upset when I said it felt aggressive and told me that hurt his feelings.

He told me he’s just passionate about football because he grew up in a very sports-centred home. He added that I was overreacting because he’s nothing like my dad and would never hurt me.

Uh-oh. Read on to find out how the situation has been since.

He’s been a little moody and avoiding me ever since, and I feel guilty now.

If I could, I’d just go to another room in our house, but you can literally hear his yelling from every spot and I just don’t think it’s sustainable for me to try to leave every time he decides to watch football.

Was I wrong for asking him to stop yelling?

AITA?

Sure, he’s a football fan and his way of enjoying the sport is completely valid – and absolutely not a sign that he’s an aggressive man.

But the way that he has handled her discussion of her triggers is really insensitive. When you face childhood trauma you can’t just pick and choose what you are triggered by and when.

He either doesn’t understand this, or just doesn’t want to.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed that a good partner would be understanding about his girlfriend’s triggers.

While others questioned their compatibility altogether.

Meanwhile, this Redditor had a suggestion.

Let’s be clear – she can’t help that his yelling is triggering for her, but the feeling is likely extremely distressing and she deserves to be heard out by her boyfriend.

The fact that he’s acting moody shows a complete lack of regard for what his girlfriend has been through – and what she continues to go through in her everyday life.

Even if he doesn’t change entirely, he should always listen.

It’s completely unacceptable.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.