Imagine marrying someone who has a sister who is clearly the golden child in the family. Would you accept it, or would you be really frustrated at the one-sided relationship?

In this story, one man is really frustrated that he and his wife do so much to help out his wife’s sister, but she never returns the favors.

To make it worse, the in-laws don’t treat their daughters equally either.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for wanting my wife to stop helping her sister constantly?

I (M35) have been married 7 years (together 11) with my wife (F35). We have two kids (M4, F2).

My wife’s sister Iana (32) has a daughter, Ciana (2), with her ex Iago. We are Ciana’s godparents.

When Ciana was born, Iana asked my wife (then a stay-at-home mom) to watch her once a week for 3 months.

It quickly expanded to 3 days weekly, with late pickups.

Iana’s marriage was in trouble.

During that time, Iana vented about Iago-financial issues, constant job changes (he even worked briefly for me), disappearing for hours, and later I learned he used drugs.

Eventually they divorced, and Iago left.

Iana and Ciana moved in with my in-laws, who live next door to us.

The childcare favors are completely one sided.

Since then, my wife and I constantly end up caring for Ciana, often daily, while when we ask for help with our own kids, my in-laws or Iana refuse or complicate things. Examples:

• They drop Ciana at our place even when they’re home.
• They joke that I’m Ciana’s “real father.”
• Iana tells Ciana to ask us for baths or to go home with us.
• They push us to put our kids in Ciana’s school so I handle all school runs.
• Iana leaves Ciana with our housekeeper without asking.
• When we need help, they complain or demand we return early.

Iana is clearly the favorite child.

Other issues sting:

1 When we lived in a small apartment behind my in-laws’ house to save money, we had to fix all problems ourselves. Once Iana hinted she might move there, my father-in-law renovated it fully, making it nicer than when my family lived there.

2 We’re finally planning our dream Japan trip. My in-laws agreed to watch our kids, but my wife is anxious since they usually just leave them on TV. She suggested activities to help, but Iana dismissed her with “you’re going because you want to” and keeps making negative comments.

3 Recently, we borrowed my in-laws’ car and planned to pick up our kids first, then Ciana. Iana complained about the timing and my father-in-law sided with her. I got so frustrated I returned the car and decided not to handle Ciana’s school runs anymore.

He’s really frustrated about this situation.

Now my wife and I argue.

I want her to stop solving all her sister’s problems. For example, Iana missed a school paperwork deadline and instead of letting her handle it, my wife went to the school herself and is even going back with Iana to fix it.

I feel Iana is 32 and refuses to take responsibility, leaning on my wife for everything.

What frustrates me most is that when my wife had issues with my mom, I set firm limits as she asked. Now that I ask her to set boundaries with her family, she struggles.

She has tried, but they push until she gives in.

It feels one-sided because it is one-sided.

With our trip coming, I feel trapped-we need their help, but it feels one-sided.

I feel we’ve always helped Iana, yet she doesn’t recognize it and behaves like it’s our obligation. Meanwhile, when we need help, there’s little reciprocity.

Am I a jerk for wanting my wife to stop constantly helping her sister and to set firmer boundaries with her family?

Iana is clearly the favorite child of his in-laws, and even his wife, her sister, can’t stand up to her. That’s not okay, but it’s their current reality.

Let’s see what advice Reddit has to offer.

Moving is probably the easiest way to solve this problem.

Here’s another vote for moving.

It’s easier to enforce boundaries when you live further away.

Everyone thinks they should move.

If you don’t live next to your family, they can’t bother you as much.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.