Everyone has probably had a friend who makes inappropriate jokes that they shouldn’t, and sometimes that is ok.

What would you do if your friend’s husband kept trying to humiliate you at your wedding, and even when you told him that it wasn’t the time or the place, he just wouldn’t let it go?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, so after the wedding was done, he talked to his friend about it. He asked for an apology, but the guy wouldn’t give one and he just kept insisting that he was joking around.

While the friendship may be over because of this, they did give a really nice wedding gift, so it isn’t a total loss.

Just saying that something was a joke doesn’t make everything ok. What this guy did was totally out of line and it is like he refuses to admit it. I’m not sure I could keep them in my life if it happened to me. Check out the full story below and see what you think.

My witness’s husband tried to humiliate me at my own wedding… twice

After 13 years together, I (50M) married my beautiful wife Lisa (45F) this past December.

We had a small and beautiful wedding with 20 guests.

They sound like wonderful friends.

I’ve known Janet (50F) for over 20 years. Something like a decade ago, Janet married Thor (M50s), and we attended their wedding, which was a lovely backyard affair.

Over the years, we’ve been to their home for Easter and Christmas dinners many times.

It seemed like a no-brainer to ask Janet to be my witness.

Some people are really loud.

Thor is a retired ex-military veteran who fought in Afghanistan. He is LOUD. His normal talking volume is the equivalent of someone else shouting.

I don’t know if it’s due to hearing damage from his service or if that’s just his personality, but it’s noticeable.

I’ve never had trouble with the guy as far as I know, and we were always friendly with one another. I once 3D-printed him a puzzle piece after one of his dogs ate it.

What? This is really inappropriate.

As the ceremony was starting, I was walking to my spot for the vows. Thor and Janet were seated in the front row.

As I passed Thor, he suddenly shouted, “How high are you? How many drugs are you on?”

The commissioner was standing right behind him while he was shouting; I even have photos of this time and space. (He was so loud that my parents later asked me, “What was Janet’s husband talking about you being on drugs?”)

He doesn’t think this is funny.

I hissed back, “I’m not. Shut up,” and kept walking.

The ceremony itself went smoothly, aside from me accidentally saying “Lisa” during the “I, OP, hereby declare…” part. Everyone laughed, it was nice moment during a serious event.

He just won’t drop it.

After the signing, guests were crowding around to congratulate me. Suddenly, Thor appeared in front of me again, shouting, “Are you in pain?

Me: “Not the time or place, dude.”

Thor: “How much pain are you in?”

Me: ” Not. The time. Or place.”

Now he is bringing other people into this.

Janet’s mother, Marilyn, who was standing beside me, asked, “Oh, why is OP in pain?”

Thor loudly replied, “Because he has a hernia!”

Marilyn exclaimed, “Oh, I don’t want to hear about hernias!”, in a disgusted tone.

He needs to talk to his friend about this.

A few days later, I brought this to Janet’s attention, and told her:

Thor’s shouting about me being “on drugs” wasn’t just disrespectful, it could have jeopardized the entire proceedings. The commissioner could have halted the ceremony if they believed someone wasn’t sober.

Thor’s shouting about my hernia was a complete betrayal of trust. My personal medical information is private, and certainly not something to announce to an entire wedding.

She is kind of downplaying his behavior.

When I asked why he did these things, Janet’s explanation was that Thor’s ex-military background meant he had worked in a toxic environment and “can’t tell right from wrong anymore.”

Then she said he was “just joking,” and that’s “the kind of humor military people have, like finding eyeballs floating in your coffee” (I have no idea what that’s in reference to, not sure if I want to know).

Finally, she said, “If you need any kind of support, feel free to reach out to us.”

I guess she isn’t really offering support.

So, my wife replied “If your offer of support is genuine, then you would ask Thor to apologize for his disrespectful behavior.”

Instead of apologizing, Janet sent my wife a long rant accusing me of having a mental illness, ending with “not to gaslight lol.”

My wife cried when she read it.

One of my oldest friends made my wife cry.

Guess the offer wasn’t genuine.

At least they aren’t walking away from this friendship empty handed.

The really confusing part is that they gave us an expensive Ninja Woodfire outdoor oven as a wedding gift.

I have no idea why you’d buy someone something large and expense like that… and then try to humiliate them on their wedding day.

The oven is awesome, by the way, it makes fantastic ribs.

Hey, at least they got a nice gift out of it. I can’t imagine how anyone would think that this guy’s behavior is at all acceptable. It is one thing to try to make a joke and not have it go off well. It is another to keep pushing when you were already told that it was inappropriate.

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Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

Honestly, this might be the case.

This is how he should have replied.

Here is someone in the military who says these excuses are untrue.

This person says you can’t put up with that behavior. If you let it go, it will never end.

This vet doesn’t think the jokes were funny.

You can’t put up with people like this or they will never stop. The jokes aren’t funny, they are inappropriate. Even if they were funny in private, they certainly aren’t something that should be said at a wedding.

I get that the guy’s wife wanted to defend her husband, but she should really sit him down and talk to him about his terrible behavior. They are going to lose friends over this type of thing.

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