Pexels/Reddit

Sending out a poll feels like the fair, democratic way to plan a party, until the results don’t go the way you hoped.

One woman planned a birthday potluck, offering four possible days and letting her friend group vote, only for a workday to narrowly win out. She followed it up with a lighthearted line about friends “booking off” work to prove their love, not expecting it to actually shape how people read the invite.

When just 4 out of 18 friends confirmed, she voiced her disappointment openly, only to be told by one of the attending friends that her comment had come across as inconsiderate.

That’s when she started reconsidering everything.

Keep reading for the whole story.

AITA for expecting my friends to book off work to attend my birthday?

I am planning to host a potluck for my birthday, which is a month away, and I’ve invited every friend that I have. I added all of them in a group chat and made a poll asking which days work best for them.

I gave them four options, which is Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

She thought she had reached a consensus among her friends, so she tried to lock down a date.

The vote was very divided, but Friday won by one vote, so I settled on that day, and I understand that some people have work that day. So I half-jokingly said, “If y’all love me, you would book it off. :]”

I don’t expect everyone to attend, but I was expecting most.

Soon she realized attendance was a lot lighter than she expected.

So I was surprised that only 4 people are confirmed to be coming, when I invited 18 people.

I expressed my disappointment to a friend who’s coming, and they mentioned that what I said came off as inconsiderate and entitled. I thought I was being reasonable by giving my friends a month notice.

She knows she was expecting a lot, but she didn’t expect things to end like this.

I also acknowledge that making a dish and bringing it for a potluck takes effort and time, which is why I said it isn’t mandatory.

But I expected that they would make time for me and at least show up.

This is disappointing.

Redditors seemed to have a massive problem with this story.

This redditor is, of course, infallible and would never do something like this.

Most commenters seemed to have the most issue with the request to take a day of PTO.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister with a bad history who found herself staying in a hotel instead of with family.

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This user piles on.

Redditors were pretty tough on her, and while some of that criticism landed, it also glossed over an important detail.

She didn’t just pick a random weekday and demand people show up, she gave four options, two of which were actual weekend days people would presumably be free for.

A month’s notice and a democratic poll are genuinely reasonable moves, the misstep was in how she responded emotionally once the vote didn’t translate into the turnout she expected.

Next time, it would be better to just choose a weekend.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.