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Effort in family relationships is supposed to go both ways, but one new mom found herself questioning that basic assumption after years of putting in far more than she ever received back.

Despite three c-sections and three young children under five, she’d repeatedly reached out to build a relationship with her sister-in-law, only to be met with consistent silence, no calls, no visits, not even a congratulations after any of her births.

When that same sister-in-law had a baby, suddenly everyone was all over the family group chat about hospital visiting hours, and her mother-in-law was calling around, even roping in her own mom, to make sure everyone showed up to celebrate.

Remembering that none of these same relatives ever showed up for her, she chose not to go, call, or message at all.

She knows it’s petty, but it still feels good.

Keep reading for the full scoop.

AITA for not visiting or calling to congratulate my SIL on her new baby

I’ve been married for 7 years and I have 3 little kids under the age of 5.

The woman realized that building a relationship with her husband’s family was going to be an uphill battle.

Very early on I came to realize that I am the only one that makes an effort when it came to having a relationship with my SIL.

I would message to hang out or do something fun for my husband’s birthday.

After a while, she started to realize this was just the way things were going to be, even with huge, life-changing events.

It came to a stage where I decided to just stop giving 100% whilst receiving nothing.

I’ve had 3 c-sections, and only my MIL and FIL had come to the hospital to see us. None of my husband’s siblings came.

She singles out her SIL in particular.

My SIL specifically never messages or calls the kids, neither did she come to the hospital to visit or even congratulate us for any of our kids.

But when she was the one to birth a child, her attitude was completely different.

Now that she has a baby, it was posted on the family group the hospital visiting hours, indirectly saying that everyone should go see her and the baby.

When her MIL started pressuring her to visit, she couldn’t help but have a sour taste in her mouth.

My MIL called to indirectly say we should come, she even called my mum to say she must come and bring all of my aunts who she’s met like twice to come and see her grandchild.

These are the same people who did not come for any of my siblings when they had kids.

I feel like there’s a lack of regard of my husband, me, and my children. I feel like I should never subject my children to unjust treatment.

So she decided to repay the same payment she’s received all these years.

I didn’t go, neither did I message or call.

AITA?

Sounds like her SIL got exactly what she deserves.

What did Reddit think?

Sometimes you just have to match someone’s energy.

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The MIL deserves a little heat here too.

She could always use her kids as an excuse.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend group that’s split when one roommate backs out of their dream apartment.

This commenter also has a complicated relationship with their SIL.

Support only really counts if it goes both ways, and this woman’s been on the losing end of that math for years.

Refusing to show the same support she was repeatedly denied over the years is basically just refusing to keep pouring into a one-way street.

Sometimes you have to protect your own energy, even if it ruffles feathers.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.