He Got More Involved In His Girlfriend’s Weight Loss After Her Progress Stalled — She Says He’s Taking It Too Far
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Trying to help someone reach a goal is one thing, but completely taking over is another.
One man is learning that after his girlfriend decided she wanted to lose weight.
At first, she was making progress and seemed happy with how things were going.
But after her weight loss stalled, he started questioning whether she was really following the plan. So, he decided to get more involved and started keeping a much closer eye on what she was doing.
Now, she says he’s being controlling, while he believes he’s only trying to help.
Keep reading to learn all the details.
AITAH for trying to control my girlfriends weight?
I’m a 30-year-old man, and my 32-year-old girlfriend is medically obese. She weighs 118 kg (260 lbs) at 165 cm (5’5″).
Earlier this year, she decided that she wanted to lose weight, and I’ve always tried to encourage and support her.
We signed up for a gym together and hired a personal trainer to help her with both her workouts and diet.
Initially, she was making great progress.
She made good progress initially and lost around 10 kg, but over the past few months, her progress has completely stalled.
She says she’s following the diet and exercising as planned, but when we spoke to the trainer, the trainer said that something didn’t seem right.
Based on the diet and exercise plan she was given, he expected her to continue losing weight. We also spoke to a doctor, and there doesn’t appear to be an underlying medical condition preventing her from losing weight.
After their talk, he started getting more involved.
At this point, I suspect she’s either snacking between meals or skipping workouts without telling me.
I sat down with her and asked her directly if she was sticking to the plan. She insists that she is, so I decided to become more involved in monitoring her progress.
I started counting her calories, keeping track of everything she eats, and weighing her once a week.
Now, she’s starting to push back.
She says I’m being controlling and that, because of me, she can’t eat the things she enjoys anymore. To me, that kind of confirms that she may have been eating more than she admitted to.
At some point, she even said that it’s okay to be fat. I disagreed because she has the recommendation from doctors to lose weight.
My intention isn’t to punish or shame her.
At this point, he just really wants to help her.
She was genuinely committed at the beginning, and losing weight seemed like something she really wanted to accomplish.
I think she’s struggling now because she realized that it’s much harder than she expected, and I’m trying to keep her accountable.
However, I can understand why she feels like I’m controlling her. I’m doing this because she has a medical condition that needs to be treated. Also, she wanted to look better, as said by herself.
AITA?
Wow! There’s a lot to unpack here.
First, let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about it.
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This person thinks he’s wrong.
Here’s a good point about food addiction.
Yet another reading talking about addiction.
This advice is perfect.
He may mean well, but this is probably where he needs to back off.
She asked for support, not for him to take over everything she eats and step on the scale with her every week.
And if she’s struggling, making her feel watched all the time probably isn’t going to help.
The best thing he can do is support her when she wants it and let her decide how she handles the rest.
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