An Elderly Great-Aunt Declined an Out-of-Touch Bridal Shower Invitation From a Relative She Barely Knows—And Sparked a Full-Scale Family War With Her Sister
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Over the years, it’s not uncommon for families to grow apart. After all, in our busy adult lives it’s difficult to keep in touch with everybody you happen to be related to, especially if plenty of those folk aren’t necessarily people that you have anything in common with besides your genes. So it’s no surprise that, by the time the elderly person in this story was in their seventies, they hadn’t had much to do with a distant sister’s children and grandchildren. After all, these siblings were never close, and grew even further apart as adults.
So imagine the surprise when they received an invitation for the bridal shower of the fiancée of a great-nephew that they barely even knew. It was a strange choice for sure, and not something that this elderly sibling had any intention of attending, so they politely declined. Well, then their sister came out of the woodwork, because it turned out she’d had a lot to do with her sister being invited.
Read on to find out more.
AITA for not attending grand-nephew’s wedding?
I’m in a quandary. I am 70+ yrs old and only have one sister, and had one older half sister.
We were born of older parents, and my sister and I were not close.
This year, our half sister’s grandkids were getting married and we were not invited, which was totally fine – especially given the cost of weddings for young couples.
Let’s see how this elderly family member thought about this.
We were not close, so my my grand-nieces and nephews wouldn’t know us if we passed them on street, so it was fine.
Next year my real sister’s grandkids will be getting married.
Again, I know them from pictures and conversations, but they wouldn’t know us either.
Let’s see how things were when this person’s children got married.
Going back to my kids’ weddings, my sister attended only one of three weddings, while we attended all three of her kids’ (but twice were relegated to tables in the back, not even near the half sister and her kids).
So now suddenly we got our first invite to a shower for my niece’s son’s fiancée’s wedding shower.
I said not going, and wrote nice card wishing them the best but saying not to save a wedding invite for us.
But this person’s sister is quite upset about this.
My sister is mad and tried to guilt me saying I was invited because I’m her ONLY living relative (but she treated our half-sister and her kids better than me).
Am I wrong for not going?
It feels like a grief to say no, but why should I go and be ignored?
Honestly, it seems very clear that this person would be uncomfortable going to the wedding of folk they don’t know, especially in their advanced years.
And no matter what their sister thinks, the fact that it’s a token invitation because they were the only living family of grandma isn’t right.
When you’re in your older years, you’re less likely to want to do this stuff, so if they don’t want to go they shouldn’t feel so bad about not doing so.
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Let’s see what folk on Reddit had to say about this.
This person thought they should not be forced to attend.
While others thought it might have just been the couple fishing for gifts.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that this elderly family member had done nothing wrong.
Some folk in their later years want to surround themselves with family, but others are very happy to live their own lives in the way that they see fit. And when we’re talking about distant family members that we don’t even know – whether by choice or because of geographical or familial distance – it’s hard to muster up the enthusiasm to attend a wedding (or associated wedding event) of someone you don’t actually know, surrounded by people you don’t really know… especially when you find out yours was just a token or obligatory invitation anyway.
So there is no way that this person should be guilted into attending the wedding. If the grandma of the guy who is getting married was so bothered about having her sibling involved in her kids’ and grandkids’ lives, then she should have involved them since they were children, not just inviting them decades later and expecting them to attend a veritable stranger’s special day. Because let’s be real, it’s about one of two things: keeping up appearances, or getting gifts.
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