Being asked to become someone’s godparent is usually considered an honor. It’s a sign that the parents trust you, value your presence in their lives and want you to play a meaningful role in their child’s future.

But what happens when you barely know the parents in the first place?

One 35-year-old man recently found himself in an awkward position when his husband’s distant cousin unexpectedly asked him to become her baby’s godfather.

Well, technically, she didn’t ask him.

She asked her mother, who asked his husband, who finally passed the question along to him.

Not exactly the most personal invitation.

The man and his husband have been together for more than 13 years, but he says his relationship with the expectant mother has never extended much beyond brief conversations at family gatherings.

Still, he was flattered by the request and wanted to give it serious consideration.

Unfortunately, the more he thought about the responsibility, the more questions he had about why he’d been chosen.

And one particular concern involved something considerably less sentimental than family bonds: money.

AITA for refusing to be the godfather to my husband’s cousin’s child?

I (35M) have been with my husband Joseph (36M) for over 13 years. His distant cousin, Pebbles (22F), was pregnant with her first child when her mom (my husband’s aunt) asked my husband to ask me if I wanted to be the godfather.

For context, I barely knew Pebbles. We would see each other at the occasional family function, but our interactions were usually just a quick “hi,” “bye,” or short conversation. There was never any bad blood between us; we simply never developed a relationship.

So when I was asked to be the godfather, I was honestly confused.

Naturally.

I also thought it was strange that Pebbles didn’t ask me herself. Instead, she apparently asked her mom, who asked my husband, who then asked me.

Don’t get me wrong, I was genuinely honored. But my first thought was, why me?

My husband and I take important decisions seriously, so we told his aunt we’d think about it. After discussing it, one concern that came up was money.

A valid concern.

My husband and I have good-paying jobs and are financially stable. We’re definitely not rich, but we own our home, have two cars, pay our bills, and live comfortably.

Pebbles and her family were struggling financially at the time. From what my husband knew, there wasn’t much stable income in the household, the baby’s father was in and out of the picture, and her family was having trouble keeping up with their mortgage.

I don’t judge them for that at all. Life gets difficult, and if someone genuinely needed help, I’m the type of person who would try to help however I could.

How thoughtful.

However, because I barely knew Pebbles, my husband and I wondered if our financial stability was part of the reason she chose me.

To be fair, we have no proof that was her intention. It was simply a concern we had. I didn’t want to accept the role and later find out that being “godfather” meant I was expected to financially provide for the child or become the person they called whenever they needed money.

But the biggest issue was simply that I didn’t know Pebbles very well.

Kinda hard to be a godparent to someone you barely know.

To me, being a godfather isn’t just a title. I would want an actual relationship with the parents and to be a meaningful and consistent person in their child’s life.

I didn’t feel comfortable making that commitment to someone I barely knew.

After talking it over, I decided to say no, and my husband supported my decision.

Uh oh.

He told his aunt that we weren’t close enough with Pebbles or her family for me to feel comfortable accepting such an important role.

Part of me still feels bad because I was honored she considered me. Maybe she genuinely thought I would be a good godfather and we overthought her intentions.

So AITA for declining because I barely knew her and was worried there could be financial expectations attached to the role?

The man isn’t wrong for declining a responsibility he doesn’t feel prepared to accept. In fact, taking the role seriously enough to question whether he could fulfill it suggests he understands that being a godparent can involve more than attending a ceremony and buying birthday presents.

His biggest concern is also his strongest argument: he barely knows the child’s mother.

If he believes being a godfather means maintaining a meaningful relationship with the parents and actively participating in their child’s life, it’s reasonable to hesitate before making that commitment.

The financial concern, however, deserves a little more scrutiny.

There’s no evidence that Pebbles selected him because he and his husband are financially comfortable. Her family’s struggles don’t automatically mean she expects someone else to support her child, and assuming otherwise could unfairly cast doubt on a sincere invitation.

It’s also worth remembering that godparent responsibilities vary considerably depending on family traditions, religious beliefs and individual expectations. The title doesn’t automatically create a legal obligation to provide financial support or become a child’s guardian.

A direct conversation with Pebbles could have clarified what she actually wanted from the arrangement.

Still, the man wasn’t obligated to accept simply because the invitation was flattering. He and his husband discussed the decision, considered the potential responsibilities and gave a respectful explanation for declining.

Ultimately, choosing a godparent should be about building a relationship that benefits the child, not convincing someone to accept a title they’re uncomfortable holding.

And if Pebbles genuinely wanted him involved, there’s nothing preventing them from developing a closer relationship without making it an official commitment.

Most people on Reddit agree he’s NTA:

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who has to explain to her kids why they can’t keep the baby snake they found as a pet.

This person agrees with everything OP said.

And this person is adament.

He was honored to be considered part of the baby’s future, but figured he should probably be part of the mother’s present first.