We hear a lot these days about toxic masculinity, how to spot it, and how guys can work to undo all of those years of being groomed by the patriarchy – but what about women?

Is there such a thing as toxic femininity? If so, how can you spot it? These 15 people have some ideas how to identify it in the wild.

15. Major ick factor.

Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love.

And 5 minutes later, they’re talking about how the kids are driving them crazy and they wouldn’t have had them if they knew what this was really like.

14. Mean girls.

Girls who only support other girls when it’s convenient for their image.

13. Almost certainly not worth it.

Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc.

Plus it’s usually for somone who is to some extent or another, a scumbag. I’ve never seen one woman burn another woman for the sake of anyone worthwhile.

12. Make it stop.

Moms bullying other moms.

A friend of mine had her daughter 10 weeks early, very traumatic but they are both fine now. Last week there was something along the lines of ”pre mature birth awareness day” on the hospital were she had her daughter and she was invited to meet up with other pre mature birth moms to bond, network and share their experiences.

At the meeting she was shamed by the group because her daughter was ”ONLY” 10 weeks early…. Her experience was ignored because ”that could’ve not been that hard, my son was born 12 weeks early!”, “mine was 15!!!”.

The most traumatic experience of her life was ridiculed because her daughter was not pre mature enough… cliques exist EVERYWHERE and it fucking sucks…

11. Quite the opposite.

That single women should be sad.

If you can’t live with yourself and be happy single then why the hell would you expect somebody else to put up with you. Too many relationships explode because one or both people are dumb enough to expect another person to compensate for issues that they can’t even sort out on their own.

10. S*xism goes both ways.

Dad of a 5 year old girl here. When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session. I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break.

The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there’s quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5. However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I’m the only man there and everyone stares at me. I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter.

Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath. At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it.

I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register. Yes. THAT register. All because I happened to be the only dad there.

I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left.

I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers. Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you’d think she just breathed fire.

But yeah… Tldr. Play group mums can be s*xist as hell.

9. That’s not how this works.

Thinking women cannot be perpetrators of domestic abuse, s*xual assault, and rape.

My sister would beat me until I was bruised regularly because she knew I wouldn’t fight back. Our folks just assumed I was making s*%t up because, in their words:

a) She’s younger than me

b) She’s a girl

8. Why is this a thing?

Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed.

7. No one likes that.

Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them.

My mom does this. She’s a “strong independent woman” until she’s in a relationship. Then suddenly he needs to pay for all her bills, buy her things (one-sidedly), and commit to every male gender role.

6. We like what we like.

Putting other women down for their interests.

I am the career focused, uber independent type. I would die before being a SAHM. But tearing down a woman who wants to be a wife, mother, and homemaker… just because it isnt my cup of tea… would just make me evil.

5. Just a few things.

I am a Male in a predominantly female professional environment. I cannot tell you how many times a female peer has stated they’re so happy I’m a guy and that we need more men in management to offset the “cattiness ” of the office.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve overheard women bashing one another in the office either. Hair, makeup, boyfriends, clothing choices, diets, body types … it goes on and on.

Lastly, crude remarks. I’ve never heard so much s*x talk or nastiness from male peers as I have female peers. Never once has a male peer discussed their significant other’s genitals with or in my presence. Female peers? I unfortunately know all about their male partners penises. Honest question: Is bragging about your male partners penis size a status thing with women?

4. It’s called reactive abuse.

Being verbally abusive and then playing victim the second the other person argues back or raises their voice.

3. No excuses.

The mindset that a man cheats because he’s a scumbag looking for some fun, but a woman cheats because she’s feeling unloved in a relationship and the intimacy is just not there.

Cheaters are sh**ty people, period.

2. Don’t say that.

Pulling the “If you’re a real man” card whenever they need something.

I semi-dated a woman in college who at one point made the statement of “I wish I could find a guy who is mature enough to put up with my issues.”

I wanted to point out that it wasn’t a maturity/immaturity issue that was the problem. In fact I find most mature guys know to run away from a woman with as many red flags as she had.

1. Not giving as much as you get.

Not putting in romantic efforts in a relationship because they think only men should be romantic and pamper them. Works both ways!

Called my ex beautiful daily, think she told me I was handsome maybe twice? I’d get her small stuff related to her interests , wouldn’t even watch a show I wanted to watch.

Is it too much to ask for some kind of support? She melted down when I’d need time to work on school, but she could go take time to herself while I couldn’t.

Left me feeling cold and weird. Complement your men ladies.

These are so interesting.

I guess I have my own stuff to unlearn, so off to do the work!