If you’re in a healthy relationship, you probably don’t spend much time wondering whether or not your partner is being faithful – you just assume they are and don’t worry.

When things start to go south at home, though, people are tempted to wonder whether it’s an outside force causing the trouble.

So, if you’re worried about whether or not you’re being cheated on, here are 17 signs people say to look out for.

17. They’re suddenly cagey.

When they become cagey about things they’re normally open about.

Have known a couple people who did this. Very open, liked to talk about their entire day, would answer near any question. Then suddenly they’d be out on a night with their friend/s and the details of the night could be summed up in a couple words or there’d be odd gaps in the story while they remember and try to sort through it all.

16. Good ol’ Tom.

My ex would sleep with her phone under her pillow. I had an idea it was happening and would keep an eye on this guys MySpace. Then he posted one of the questionnaire things that were popular at the time, one of the questions was who did you last kiss? And his answer was my ex.

MySpace Tom had my back.

Edit: a lot of you seem to think that she might have been browsing the internet, this was a time before internet was available on your phone, there was nothing to do on a phone other than call and text.

Most phones also didn’t screen locks with passwords or facial recognition, anyone could get on your phone so the best way to avoid this would be hide it. Or sleep with it under your pillow so if someone does try to get it, they wake you up.

15. Trust your spidey-sense.

When he returned from a “business trip”, his checked bag was missing. I was picking him up from the airport like usual and he didnt want me to go with him to file a baggage claim. Something seemed dicey so I checked his flight number.

He wasn’t coming from Seattle like he stated, but from Massachusetts. I went in his backpack and found a stub for a whale-watching trip that confirmed it. Then I found a second cell phone. Spider Sense is always reliable.

14. Oops.

When she tells you shes having dinner with her brother… while you’re having dinner with her brother

13. That’s quite a long healing process.

She’s having migraines all the time and John Redcorn, a spiritual healer, has not been able to correct them with 3 to 5 weekly sessions over 12 years.

12. That’s how it is, then.

their “co-worker” sends a “goodnight babe. I love you” text in the middle of the night..

11. Fool me once…

If they cheated on someone to be with you, well…. don’t be shocked, is all.

A guy I know started seeing his now ex-wife while she was still married to someone else. Then he was shocked when she cheated on him.

10. They like to try to turn the tables.

You come home exhausted from work and your partner accuses you of cheating.

My ex used to get so angry if I walked in the door and went to pee right away. I drive an hour home from work due to traffic. Having to pre is not abnormal. He made it a thing. The bathroom was right inside the door, and he would be at the other end of the house. Apparently going into the bathroom before seeing him was equivalent to me washing off the scent of my lover.

Every time he accused me of anything, looking back, that’s exactly what he was guilty of.

9. An apt phrase.

What’s that old phrase, “Every accusation is a confession?” Several times? Yea… suspicion maybe an apt reaction IMO.

8. What a good boy.

Your dog vomits another woman’s underwear.

7. Uncommon tires.

Here’s a fun one courtesy of my dad and his second wife: when the tire tread pattern on the fresh snow in your driveway matches the uncommon tires on your brother-in-law’s new work vehicle.

Edit: got way more confused replies than I expected on this. My dad’s second wife (not my mother) was having an affair with my uncle (my dad’s sister’s husband, HIS brother-in-law) and my dad figured it out after coming home early from work one night and noticing a distinctive tire width and tread pattern in his driveway that matched my uncle’s work truck, who had no reason for being there that night.

He went inside and asked her if had been there and she acted surprised and denied it. He then mentioned the tire marks and why he recognized them and the house of cards promptly crumbled.

6. Out of the blue.

When they accuse you of accusing them of cheating – and that has nothing to do with the conversation. At all.

5. Watch their phone.

When my husband cheated, it was definitely the phone. He was hiding at night when he’d go to bed.

Also, wouldn’t ever let me go to work related get togethers that the other spouses would attend.

4. When they get super defensive.

When my partner was cheating he was really oversensitive to any implication that I didn’t trust him. I’d text something like “what are you doing” and he’d get all defensive when it was really just a straight up question on my part.

3. A sudden interest.

When they suddenly start taking extra interest in their appearance and getting in shape by “going for walks” even up to 10 pm by the time they return and they don’t answer your worried calls because “they had music on with headphones”.

And when you ask them why they didn’t answer it’s because “they didn’t hear the calls come in” despite you having the exact same phone and know that the incoming calls cut over the music.

2. No doubt about it.

I had suspicions that my ex was cheating on me for months.

One night she invites me out (half hearted invite) to go drinking with her “girlfriends”. I decline as I wanted her to have her own friends outside of our relationship.

She’s all happy and humming (something she never did before). She takes a shower then I see she’s getting all dolled up like I haven’t seen in years. Not only that but she’s wearing her sexiest underwear, the stuff she wore to signal she was horny.

I simply say “Why are you wearing that?” and she says “It’s just what I grabbed”.

So I said “You know what? Give me a few minutes to get ready, I think I will go out with you tonight”.

She had a complete meltdown. Starts accusing me of accusing her of cheating, of not trusting her and hurting her feelings. Of course I was a fool and let her play me and I end up apologizing.

But I knew.

However, things went down and all knowledge of that kind of left my mind until years after she had left me and I remembered all that shit (and other stuff).

Yeah, she was cheating, I’ve no doubt about it.

1. Always trust your friends.

Was dating a woman in a foreign country. Her roommate was a guy from Australia who I was buddies with, through her.

I arrived after a long flight and he said “hey bro let’s go get a beer and catch up”.

Over beers he told me she had been going on dates and came home very late some nights a few weeks before I got back. Risked losing his room and his friend (her) to give a bro a heads up 👑

I’d say most of these make sense.

Here’s hoping none of them ring true for you!