February 17, 2023 at 8:58 am

People Share What They’d Do First if They Had Godlike Powers Over the Universe

by Matthew Gilligan

If you had Godlike powers, what would you do first…?

Don’t lie to me! I know you’ve thought about it before!

And today we’re gonna hear what AskReddit users said about this.

Let’s get started!

1. Oh, no!

“People now have unlimited teeth. As in, they will grow back if taken out.

Imagine going to the dentist and their only job is to remove the tooth and pat you on the back.”

2. Sort it out.

“Sort my knees out.

I’m in my mid-twenties, and I’m not thrilled by the prospect of having to go the rest of my life on this dodgy pair.”

3. Change the laws.

“Probably change the laws of this universe to make it an abundant utopia before peacing out and making my own universe with elves and dwarves and magic and s**t”

4. Good idea.

“Putin vs Florida Man.

The ultimate showdown.”

5. Yes or no?

“Ask my cat if she likes me.

I genuinely would like to know.”

6. Calm down, friend.

“Have the ability to talk to my dog and him understand me so I can tell him to calm down and explain that I just want cuddles sometimes.”

7. Modified.

“Modify my own behavior/psychology to be more resistant to corruption by the power, more wise, and immune to insanity induced by the huge amounts of time and boredom.

Basically I would get rid of all my human instincts that were born of evolution in a limited-resource and entropy-prone world without sacrificing compassion and understanding of the fact that other humans still have those instincts.”

8. Take it all in.

“Learn everything I can.

From that work out what needs intervention and what needs to be left to people to solve, then act on that.”

9. Crank it up.

“Crank humanity’s empathy and patience up a little. Reduce the aggression down a notch.

Give people conscious control over reproduction– no woman gets pregnant unless she wants to, no man fathers a child he doesn’t want. And, uh, seriously overhaul women’s parts, nobody deserves cramping this bad…

Make sustainable and green fuels and resources easier and more profitable to manage.

Nudge science in the right direction for undoing environmental damage.

Fix the weather–summer needs to stop after august, jfc. Stop super droughts and insane hurricanes.

Un-extinct some species– and make profitable body parts toxic, but only to humans. Like, rhino horn makes your v**lently sick and gives you epic s**ts.

Anytime a person gets greedy or power hungry, they glow orange so we know they’re acting only for themselves.”

10. A time to heal.

“Heal everyone’s chronic illness.

Mental, physical, you’re all doing better now.

Parkinson’s? No more.

EDS? Nada.

Endometriosis? Gone.

Cancer? Eradicated.”

11. Stopping time.

“The first thing I would do is stop time for the whole universe (myself excluded) so I would have more time to think about what to do and avoid catastrophic unintended consequences.

Hopefully I remember to resume time before I leave this dimension to some other reality….”

12. Explore more.

“I’d go explore.

Leave earth and just wander around the infinite void known as space.”

13. The cure.

“Cure my mom who has been d**ng from a mysterious illness.

It’s probably not actually that much of a mystery, doctors just stopped wanting to help her because she’s poor and can’t properly advocate for herself because her brain is being rotted out.”

14. Universal rule.

“Create a universal rule where any human who’s about to do something awful is compelled to volunteer at a local charity organization.

I’d determine the threshold and what constitutes awful.”

15. You can try.

“Explain it to every human at the same time so they’d stop fighting over religious differences.

Though I’m sure they’d just find something else to fight about at some point.”

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