If you’re a Disney fan – casual or otherwise – then you probably imagine working at the parks (especially in character) would be a dream come true.

Like all gigs, though, a job is just that – a job. And anytime you add customers into the mix, things are bound to get weird a good portion of the time.

These 16 people lived the character-playing dream, and they’re here to tell you all of the ways it was stranger than expected.

16. Talk about a walk of shame.

I used to work at a different amusement park that featured similar costumed characters. The worst thing I ever heard was the time one of the characters was overcome by heat in 95 degree weather, and vomited inside the suit, splattering the inside of the suit’s head with their half-digested lunch.

They had to walk a long distance back to the dressing rooms breathing the super-heated vomit air the entire way.

15. Kids are savage.

I squeezed Goofy’s nose when I was little and he pretended to cry and I still live with the shame.

14. That’s assault, bro.

My ex wife was in the character department at Disney World years ago. She was always getting injured by guests. From macho men wanting to see how strong of a grip Mickey had, to grabbing hold of Donald’s bill and yanking really hard. Pulling noses, beaks, ears, etc., can really hurt people.

Another person was dressed as Daisy duck and got tackled by a guest and knocked out cold. When she recovered, she pressed charges.

The worst nights for the characters were high school senior nights and the religious group nights. Bunch of unruly teens with little to no supervision. No one wanted to work those shifts. Ever.

13. Real people underneath.

I was one of the performers for Nick Wilde from Zootopia a few years ago, And if you’re not aware; a large number of people in the furry community find him highly attractive.

You can just imagine the number of people in that community who flirted with me and/or Judy and whispered some pretty sexual things to us. I think I also had a guy grab Nick’s tie like in that flirty way, we had to get him escorted out of the park.

The moral of the story is: don’t be inappropriate with the characters, we are real people underneath and the are legitimate consequences for that kind of behaviour.

12. Nightmare fuel.

Not Disney, but mildly funny.

In the 90s, My mom used to work for the company that owns Kool-aid. She was over several commissaries (military base grocery stores) and I usually did odd work for her like stocking or building displays.

A few times, I got to put on the Kool-Aid Man costume. It was hard to see anything since the view ports were the eyes, mouth and they were super dark tinted plastic.

I was placed in between two racks of snack cakes and was scared to move much as I might knock them over. So I stood there for probably a half hour still as a statue while waiting to see people.

This small kid, maybe 3 or 4, comes up to me with his mom. His eyes were so big and he was adorably in awe. I saw him and bent down to say hello and scared the living hell out of that poor kid. He BOLTED directly away from me, screaming in terror.

I lumbered after him for about 5 steps ..trying to placate him and tell him I was friendly..before realizing I was just making more nightmare fuel for this poor little dude. His mom was laughing so hard she fell on her a$$.

11. It was Piglet.

Dated an actress , the weirdest she had was a man asking for him to be in the suit for an hour.

He offered her 3k.

10. Just normal people.

I knew a friend(a guy) who wore Minnie Mouse costume. He told me almost all guys would put their hands around his waist. He wouldn’t dare to talk or else they will hear his manly voice and that might pisses them off.

Edit: this blows up quickly. I feel I need to let people know that it’s not okay to grope the Disney characters. My friend had introduced me to the people who play them and they are just normal people. All I can tell you is that they will make a disgusting face under the mask and talk shit about you later after work.

9. Time for reflection.

I was playing Goofy inside a restaurant and I got swarmed Aliens-style by a hoard of <10 kids. Unfortunately while I was playing around with them the inner hood below the mask slipped over my eyes and I was completely blinded.

We had assistants around whom we could signal for help by flapping our arms, but the kids had made it a game of attaching themselves Tarzan-like to both my arms and to raise them I would have had to lift 3-4 kids per arm (dangerous even if I’d been strong enough to do that).

I found myself blind and completely rooted to the spot, unable to ask for help and with nobody realizing that I was in trouble. I spent like a solid 10-15 minutes in that sort of limbo reflecting on the life decisions that had taken me there until the assistant came over and whispered “set is over dude” and I finally managed to signal something was wrong.

8. So many Plutos.

I had a female friend who played Pluto for a few years. Even though her gender was indistinguishable because it’s a fully body Pluto costume, she’s would regularly share how often she was groped by kids and adults alike.

In costume she looked like she was 6’6”, but was only 5’8” in real life. You couldn’t tell the gender of any of the 3-4 in Pluto rotation and you could barely tell them apart.

7. Off-brand fairies.

I dated a girl that played one of the fairies for the Tinkerbell place. Beyond the pretty much daily occurrence of old dads hitting on her (she was 19 at the time) the weirdest thing to happen to her was a woman with a 4yr old little girl was all excited to get a picture with Tinkerbell, who was busy, so my ex volunteered to do pictures and entertain the little girl while they waited.

The woman was a bitch about that idea, rudely saying she was here to see Tinkerbell and not “off-brand” fairies. So just shrugging it off, my ex moved on. A bit later, she hears a commotion and Tinkerbell is obviously upset, and security shows up. Apparently, this woman was Tinkerbell’s bio mom and had taken her granddaughter to Disney, just to violate the restraining order against her.

Disney Jail is a real place.

6. They all have handlers.

I was part of the Disney college program and I have my own stories but not as a character. My mom on the other hand, she was a character actor back in the day (60’s or 70’s). They were testing a new headpiece for the seven dwarf costumes in Disneyland and my mom wore one of them out on a march with Snow White.

As a Dwarf, your head is inside their hat, their face on their stomach, etc. Being Anaheim, it was really hot that summer day and as they were going around following Snow White a little kid saw my mom “Doc” he ran up to give him/her a hug.

As he was hugging Doc, the plastic that made up the face started melting inwards and the child started screaming “I killed Doc! I killed Doc!” In hysterics. Character handlers rushed my mom/Doc off through one of the secret passages by Pirates and got her out of the costume before the plastic could melt onto her.

Always thought it was a fun story and curious how much it screwed up that kid.

5. Only $400?

Somebody offered me 400 dollars to have s^x with him while in my Goofy costume *(makes awkward Goofy laugh)

4. Not just kids.

The number of people that feel comfortable grabbing your crotch or hitting you in the head. Not just kids.

3. It wasn’t all bad.

I was a “mouse height” performer at Disney World around 2013. Can unfortunately confirm groping happened from time to time and it was incredibly uncomfortable. We were trained to move away if we could and signal to the character attendants to escort the guest away if it happened. One time some guy thought it appropriate to pick me up completely off the ground in a bear hug. The head pushed back and, because the inside is connected to us with head gear and a chin strap, my neck bent back with it and it hurt like hell.

Not a weird story, but one of my most memorable guest experiences was meeting a little blind boy as Mickey in Epcot. I gently guided his hands to the soft ears, then the nose, and bow tie and he was laughing and his smile lit up the whole room. I still get emotional thinking about it! Interactions like that made it all worth it to me at the time.

2. Not funny.

I was pretend gang raped by a crowd of drunk Brazilians while working as the NASCAR mascot at universal studios.

I quit the next day.

Edit:

I’m fine – this was 10 years ago

I was in a costume that had limited vision and mobility so it was not exactly easy to just leave the situation and I had been separated from my handler at the time. 6-8 drunk Brazilians hoisted me in the air, prostrated me and simulated the deed while the rest of the party cheered and laughed.

1. Don’t mess with the chipmunks.

Never was an actor, but when I was a kid at Disney World in the 70s, I watched Chip get into a fist fight with a young 20 something guy. The guys girlfriend wanted him to do a picture with Chip & Dale, but he didn’t want to. Chip grabbed him in a headlock and his girlfriend snapped the photo.

When Chip let go, the guy came up swinging. Dale had to jump in and break them up, as Chip started swinging back. For a kid of 12, it was awesome!

I don’t know. I’d still work there.

I bet they’re never going to have trouble getting applications, no matter how weird it gets.