‘Our son is not slow and you are WAY out of line here!’ Man Asks if He’s a Jerk for Telling His Brother and Sister-In-Law It’s Good That They Can’t Have Children
There are certain things that are probably thought and not said.
And this is one of those times, for sure!
Because this story from Reddit’s Am I The A**hole section involves a disabled child, somebody who can’t help the situation they’re in… and the judgement of a couple of folks who can’t have kids.
Yeah, this is gonna get messy...
AITA for telling my brother and SIL it’s good they can’t have children?
“Okay, what I said was awful, but please hear me out.
I am 37M, my wife is 38F. He have two kids, aged 17 and 4. Neither were planned, but we are happy we have them both.
Our 17yro has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. He can dress himself, he talks (a bit hard to understand at first, but you can understand him fine if you put a little effort into it), he does great in school and is a great kid.
My brother and his wife can’t have kids. They have been through a lot of IVF and other treatments, but it hasn’t been successful. I know they are both devastated about it, especially my SIL.
We were all at my mother’s house for dinner the other night and brother and SIL were telling us about their last unsuccessful round of IVF and said that this might be it and they probably won’t try again. We all said we are sorry about that and that it must be awful.
Later that evening my mom was asking my 17yro about his plans for the future etc, how is school going, does he have a GF, does he like any girls etc (typical grandma stuff lol).
My SIL then said “can he even date?” to me (my son didn’t hear it) and I looked at her and just said “what?”.
She then said “well he’ll be in your care forever, do you really want him to bring a woman into that”.
I asked her to stop, but my brother said she’s just asking a question. At that point everyone heard us talking.
SIL then said to me and my wife “I didn’t mean to offend you, it’s just that a slow child might be too much work on their own, without dating at stuff”.
I loudly replied “our son is not slow and you are WAY out of line here”.
She then said to me “relax, please, jeez I thought you had more patience, since you are raising a retarded child”.
I lost it and said “you know what, it’s a good thing you can’t have children because you would have been a terrible mother”.
She broke down crying, brother called me an AH.”
What did Reddit have to say about this?
One person said NTA for what he said…
And another person thinks these folks would make horrible parents because people aren’t disposable.
But one person definitely said they couldn’t handle raising a disabled child.
Whenever somebody has a child with disabilities follow this one simple rule: shut up.
Seriously. It does wonders for your relationships.