Yeah, we know the world can get you down, so let’s lighten things up a bit and bring you some choice jokes from all your anonymous friends on the internet!

Yeah, these AskReddit users were nice enough to share what they think are their best jokes.

Why? Because they have nothing better to do.

So let’s dig in and have some fun!

Lunch

“Three construction workers have lunch together on top of a tall building.

The first one opens his lunch box and goes “Another tuna sandwich? I eat tuna sandwich every day. If I have to eat another tuna sandwich I’m going to jump!”.

The second one opens his lunch box and also goes “Man, another turkey club sandwich. I can’t stand it anymore. If it’s the same tomorrow, I’ll jump”. The third worker opens his lunch box, sees a meatball sandwich, and like the others he says he’ll jump if he has to eat another meatball sandwich.

The next day the three men open their lunch boxes. The first one got a tuna sandwich. He writes a goodbye note and jumps. The second got a turkey club and does the same. The third sees he has a meatball sandwich and follows them.

At the funeral the wives of the three men meet. The first one weeps and says “If only I had known! I would have made him something else!”. The second wive is angry and goes “He never told me he wanted something else! If he had just talked to me!”. They notice that the third wife just looks sort of confused, so they ask her what’s wrong.

She replies: “I just don’t get it. He always made his own lunch.””

Farm humor.

“Guy trying to get hired at a farm, and the farmer says “Have you ever shoed a horse?”

The guy says “No, but once I told a donkey to f**k off.””

Say that again.

“A man goes into the doctor and says “I think I have hearing problems”

Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms?

Man: Sure! Homer’s fat and Marge has blue hair.”

The King of Horror.

“Stephen King once said something like: “People think I’m this scary guy, but really I have the heart of a small boy… I keep it in a jar on my desk.””

Gramps.

“My grandpa passed away recently because none of us knew his blood type.

In the lead up to his last breath, he kept telling us all to be positive.

I’m trying grandpa!”

Oops.

“Yesterday I couldn’t figure out whether someone was waving at me or the person behind me.

In other news, I lost my lifeguard job.”

You’re fired.

“Man goes into a butchers. Asks: “What happened to your assistant?”

Butcher replies: “Fired him.”

Man asks: “Why’s that?”

Butcher replies: “Because he was putting his d**k in the bacon slicer.”

Man asks: “What did you do with the bacon slicer?”

Butcher replies: “Fired her as well.””

Oof!

“Bear walks into a bar and says “can I have a………Coke?”

Bartender says “what’s with the big pause?”

Bear says “I don’t know, I was born with them.””

This is good!

“Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them?

So that they can Scandinavian.”

LOL.

“What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People from Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do.”

Bam!

“What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.”

I see what you did there!

“A jumper cable walks into a bar, but the bartender says “we don’t serve jumper cables, get out!”

But the jumper cable has had a long day. He begs the barkeep to make an exception… And eventually he relents.

“Alright” says the bartender, “but don’t try to start anything!””

Gotta write a couple of these down…

I’m not gonna steal them. I’m just gonna borrow them.