Those of us who think about things like what we’ll do when the zombie outbreak eventual comes for us like to believe we’ve got survival in the bag.

No one can think of everything, though, and maybe we should double check that we’ve covered all of our bases.

Just in case.

A waiting game.

The zombie hordes would eventually rot away. Their bodies are decomposing so eventually their tendons and whatever would no longer be able to allow the undead to be mobile.

Survivors just need to wait it out.

Just like in all wars.

Having good shoes so you don’t get blisters

It’s simple preparation.

We could stop all this zombie apocalypse nonsense if we’d simply tie the shoelaces together on folks before we bury them.

Get yourself a bike.

I’m always shocked in zombie movies/shows that people forget bicycles exist. It’s a relatively fast and quiet way to get around that no one uses.

Also, easier to repair than cars / motorcycles, easy to conceal when you’re not using them, light enough to carry over / around roadblocks and other obstacles … a lot of upside.

You’ll have to get creative.

The ideas that you come up with, the places you think about going to, are probably the same exact thoughts that countless other people have as well.

“Yeah, I’m just going to bunker down at the nearest Wal-Mart and hold the place to myself”

No you won’t, because Country Boy Terry already laid claim to the place and is gonna pick you off with his firearms if he sees you encroaching on his territory.

Or likely there will already be a massive crowd of zombies waiting for you when you get there.

This is genius!

WHAT ABOUT SLINGSHOTS?! Why is no one using slingshots in zombie situations?!

Unlimited ammo essentially, quiet, you can use it to draw zombies attention away from you. So many possibilities!

Slingshots people!

The eternal nothing.

Play a game like zomboid and your first few days if not weeks is built around hardcore survival scavenging and discipline via trying to reserve and avoid wasting supplies. But after you’ve settled, and built something to last, and have your needs met – what then?

Like the walking dead, it becomes painfully less about the zombies by some point and more of the everything after survival. The eternal nothing.

If you live that long.

Gasoline will go bad in a few years.

This is the one that always cracks me up because so many shows/games/movies have these decked out “zombie cars” that probably get a nice 8mpg.

Which unless there’s some groups mining oil, running a refinery, and selling gas…will be completely useless in 2-3 years.

The devil is in the details.

Waste management. I see this in other doomsday scenarios as well. With no septic system or trash collection I see disease being more of a risk than a lot of other factors.

Same with injury, sure there’s first aid but without a power grid to refrigerate meds, something as simple as a cut or scrape can prove fatal.

Edit: I’m talking about general population. Not the people who are well versed in survival and have a limited/working knowledge of how to live outside of society.

As for the cut/scrape example, I’m speaking generally, not literally as in it doesn’t much to k**l people.

Double edit: changing the scenario a bit. So you have this doomsday bunker and you can’t break the seal to the outside as the air is poison. You have ten years of canned goods and MREs all saved up. How are you getting rid of all the trash? Unless you have an airlock that you can pump out, you’re screwed.

In the Air Force we did exercises. Another guy and I had to sit in a single cab Ford ranger all day. The trash generated from just two MREs is insane. Multiply that for days, weeks, years.

Figure that one out ahead of time.

That most people will die from bad water and bad food.

You can’t run, though.

Cover your skin. A full face helmet and kevlar jacket/pants would pretty much make you zombie-proof.

At least you’ll die laughing.

Most people will die of the virus in their beds with fever, home or hospital, at least at the start.

So expect most zombies to be in pajamas, hospital gowns with their a$$es hanging out, or butt naked.

You’ll need some entertainment.

Everybody loots the food.

You should also hit up the vitamin aisle.

Everybody loots the pharmacy or the hospital.

You could also hit up a veterinary clinic and find basically the same stuff.

Maybe a library would be a good place to hide out for a while because it’s going to be really boring when you’re not running from the zombies. Nobody ever mentions how boring your downtime would be.

At least the new zombies won’t have teeth.

Dental hygiene will go out the window

We all love sleep.

The lack of sleep. Real, actually peaceful sleep. Between zombies and the people taking advantage of the lack of order, real beneficial sleep will be almost impossible the first few years.

Imagine the first month sleeping 4-5 hours per night, really light sleep. Then, one night, you seem to be in a safe place for once, you sleep like 10 hours totally inmerse in the rest.

When you wake up you have those 2 minutes we all have experienced where you don’t know what day is it, what is happening with your life or what are you suppposed to do.

And THEN you remember everything that happened in a fraction of a second, the d**ths, the apocalypse, the distress, your situation, the ones you’ve lost or don’t know nothing about…

Just imagine how would that make you feel.

You can’t control all the variables.

How every scenario in which they think they’d do alright starts with them being ready.

I imagine a whole lot of very capable people would just be sleeping in, and wake up to the sound of breaking glass and die in a minute.

Too real.

Your work will still ask if you’re available to come in. Tom just got bit yesterday and we don’t have anyone to cover his shift.

“Heya, Tom, it’s Bob, from the office down the hall It’s good to see you, buddy, how’ve you been? Things have been okay for me, except that I’m a zombie now I really wish you’d let us in I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand? But here’s an FYI You’re all gonna die screaming

We’re not unreasonable I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes (All we wanna do is eat your brains) We’re at an impasse here Maybe we should compromise If you open up the doors We’ll all come inside and eat your brains…”

-Jonathan Coulton, Re: Your Brains

I’m going to have to rewrite my plan.

You can never be too careful. Or too prepared.