People Share The Very Worst Reasons For People To Have Children Or Adopt
by Trisha Leigh
If we’re being honest, I think there are fewer and fewer good reasons to have a baby; there are mostly ones that are morally neutral, given the state of the world today.
There are still many, many bad reasons to have a baby, and these people are detailing what they think are the worst of the worst.
Stranger than fiction.
To have an organ donor for later?
Unfortunately there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow.
I personally think it’s abuse.
Don’t do it for them.
Your parent(s) wanted grandkids.
Ugh, my family would tell me that they’d pay for everything if I had a kid (money was my main reason I was waiting when I was younger).
I eventually had a kid and they haven’t given me a f**ken penny. Bunch of liars.
My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them.
They always get embarrassed and change the subject.
A specific anything.
Some people think kids are something you order from a menu. I want a daughter who’s quiet and respectful and wins national spelling bees and a popular outgoing son who will be star of his football team! Who cares what they’re actual talents and interests are!
My dad was disappointed that my sister and I were both girls but he helped raise my nephew and once my nephew hit like 7 it became pretty obvious the issue was less his gender and more that my dad had this picture in his head that his son would be successful in all the ways that he thought he himself would have been if he had had more supportive parents.
Unfortunately for him, my nephew shared his personality. Congrats dad! You the smart ass who likes to talk back and disrespected authority growing up had a smart ass daughter who got in trouble for never listening and a smart ass grandson who does the same!
(Note my dad loved my nephew but damn it was funny to see him have to change the mental image of what have a boy was like.)
It will not heal your trauma.
My dad had an incredibly f**ked up and traumatizing childhood. instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses a person at his church told him to “have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma.”
so he had six and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. idiot
To avoid therapy.
To distract yourself from a traumatic experience (robbed at gun point)
A long time back, a coworker told me this after our conversation about what happened. She said it’d distract me .. then she said I was selfish for telling her that was a horrible idea.
A lot of people use children as a lackluster attempt at avoiding therapy, which is actually exactly when you shouldn’t be having a child surprisingly enough.
You want to bring a child into the world under the idea that you’ll give them the best you can so they can be happy, not the other way around.
Grossest reason possible.
A couple adopting a young kid from Thailand were well into the process when the adoption agency saw that they had a social media presence where they gave updates to their followers on the process. The agency told them that they have a policy where within a year of adoption.
Instead of being reasonable people, they simply canceled the adoption process entirely. It truly is borderline evil, especially since they just wanted an adopted kid for clout and couldn’t wait a year.
To be responsible.
To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, i had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away)
This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who’s gonna take care of my brother if something happens to me?
My dad has said multiple times since I was like 5 or 6 that I’m gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too.
Don’t do it for Jesus.
To compete with someone.
Child support benefits, any money benefits.
Or to keep someone stuck in a relationship with you. Downright toxic and cruel.
Only have kids if you’re prepared to love them unconditionally despite ANYTHING (unless you know – they end up being on the sex offender registry or anything), you’re financially stable enough to give them what they need and you genuinely WANT kids.
It’s still miserable.
To save the relationship.
It never works, it just drags an innocent baby into a miserable situation.
There are cheaper ways to accomplish that.
I know a woman who was hoping it would give her bigger boobs
Keeping up with the Joneses.
Because everyone else has one.
“So you can understand the pain I went through and understand how horrible it is” -mom
And actively tries to push it. Like when are you having kids? You are having kids riiiiight? Then get visibly angry when she says no she’s not. She doesn’t want them.
To fulfill your childhood dreams.
Using them to fulfil your childhood dreams (Forcing them to be into sports when you weren’t, etc)
To sell them.
Daughters are being sold into child marriage and sons are sold for forced child labor in many countries.
Or adoption mills. I know someone who adopted from a central American country about twenty ago. Wonderful little girl. When the girl was about 13 or 14, she discovered that she had at least four siblings who had also been adopted as babies and were living in the US. Makes you wonder.
It gets so much worse. After adolescence, girl began to have psychotic episodes. Turns out that she had lived in a nursery much of the first year in her life, and was completely neglected.
Yes, that blows up on people at some point. She is now in an institution.
Not a puppy.
Because you find them cute. They aren’t a pet.
This is the worst reason of all. In Western countries, it’s nowhere near the same, but people who keep having kids hoping to get their preferred gender are also pretty bad.
“We finally got our boy at baby #6!” Like… congrats? You had 4 kids in the interim you technically didn’t want, that you admit you only had as filler.
Because because because.
Because it’s expected of you
Because your partner wants one
Because you think it will make you, or your partner or your relationship better. Babies should never come into the world with a job.
Definitely don’t do any of these.
Your future kids deserve better.