If there’s one thing that’s should always be true, it’s that it’s always too soon to poke fun at grieving people.

They can use humor themselves to deal with the loss, but if they’re not laughing, you shouldn’t be either.

OP’s cousin had one of those marriages that are more and more rare these days.

I (33m) am staying at my grandparents’ house for the holidays. My grandparents passed away and the house was maintained by their children, making it into communal space for all family members to use.

The rooms are usually saved for those who visit from out of town like me.

I have a cousin Frank (34m) who also visited but stayed elsewhere. We were close growing up. Frank was married to his high school sweetheart Kim for >10 years with a 6 years old daughter.

So it stands to reason that, since unexpectedly losing his wife, he has really been struggling.

What set Frank apart from most guys I know was how deeply he loved his wife. He was an exceptionally happily married man. His good bye phrase to me private or in public was “See ya miserable single loser later!”

He was making fun of how I never had a long time girlfriend. I always took it in good fun; it was nice to see a guy so devoted given that my parents and more than half my aunts and uncles divorced.

Kim passed in an accident just a little over a year ago. Frank was more than devastated.

The two men were hanging out with their nephew and some of his friends. When the cousin was leaving, the nephew made a comment that OP couldn’t let slide.

A few days after I stayed at my grandparents’ my nephew Tom (17m) showed up with a few friends wanting to watch a movie. Tom lives with my sister nearby. I ordered the boys some pizza and joined them.

A bit later, Frank dropped by, wanting to catch up with me. We stayed in the same room and talked. Frank seemed to be doing much better since the last time I saw him a month after Kim’s funeral.

Once the movie was finished, Tom asked if they could hang out in the room for a while and I said yes. Frank, however, excused himself, saying he needed to pick up his daughter.

We hugged goodbye and Frank was about to leave when Tom said “What? None of that miserable single loser stuff? Welcome to the club. Guess now you’re a miserable single loser, too.”

He made his nephew apologize in front of his friends, and his brother thinks he shouldn’t have.

I could see the colors drained from Frank’s face and he looked like he was going to pass out. I immediately turned to Tom and told him to apologize and now.

Tom said why should he apologize and I only raised my voice with “Now!”

Tom glared at me but finally looked away and softly said sorry to Frank. Frank just left. Tom’s friends mumbled about how they had to go and quickly cleaned up and left, Tom leaving with them.

Later that night Tom’s father called me from across the country, reprimanding me that I should not shame Tom in front of his friends like that.

He said he understood that what Tom said was insensitive but being scolded like a child in front of his friends was not how I should handle this.

I could wait and have Tom apologize later.

Which of them is right on this one? Reddit’s got all the advice on raising teens!

The top comment does not think OP was wrong at all.

And this person agrees that the friends actually needed to hear it, too.

They say hopefully the kid learned a lesson.

No one is judging the kid too harshly, though.

Though they might need to check in with the teen to be sure the message has stuck.

Oooh, this one made me cringe.

But teenagers do that alot.

If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.