Struggling to have a child that you very much want is a journey that is so much harder than people realize.

One thing that makes it rough is watching other people get what you want, and many it look so easy, too.

This woman struggled for over a decade to get pregnant.

I’m (38f) pregnant with my first, and probably only, child.

My sister (36f) is also pregnant but this is her third child and this baby comes several years after her last child who is 8 years old.

I struggled with fertility problems for many years. I could not get pregnant despite trying from the age of 24.

We underwent numerous tests but no clear reason for this was ever found.

We tried taking breaks between trying, we tried fertility medications in recent years and finally, last year, we went through IVF which was successful for us.

Now she and her sister are pregnant at the same time.

You might wonder what this has to do with the name of my baby.

Well, let me explain.

My husband and I had a boy and a girl name chosen from pretty much the time we started trying for a baby. These were names we promised to use whenever we had a baby, and we had planned to have at least 2 children.

Those names stayed “the names” throughout everything.

But when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband struggled to agree on a name.

She mentioned mine and my husband’s chosen names once during my pregnancy and said how lucky we were to have agreed.

Her sister who stole not one, but two of the baby names she and her husband had chosen all of those years ago.

Then when her daughter was born she decided to use the girl name my husband and I had chosen. And she confessed that is how the name was decided on.

She said her husband liked our chosen name and she didn’t think it was bad so she decided it would be better for them to use it so their baby could have a name.

She told me not to look upset (because admittedly I got emotional when she said this) and told me at least the name would be used.

Then when her son was born she used the name we had chosen for the same reason; they couldn’t agree on another name.

This did strain our relationship and I was and still am hurt that she was so dismissive of my feelings and so blunt about what they did.

She implied pretty strongly that she expected I would never have children to use the name for.

Then a couple of years after her son was born she made the comment that we agreed so easily we could find another name if it worked, implying that we could not/should not use the names anymore.

She’s refusing to tell her sister this baby’s name, and it’s causing a bigger rift.

We ended up mixing our boy choice and our girl choice for this baby. Both had a unisex name in them and we decided, since we loved all four names mixing them wasn’t a huge change.

My sister won’t like this. But honestly, we don’t see each other much anymore.

She only reached out more now because we’re both pregnant at the same time and she has asked repeatedly about the name we have chosen.

I have refused to tell her.

But my two brothers know. They thought I should have used the original name as intended and give our sister the middle finger.

But they also understand why we chose to mix them.

She sent me a very pissy text a few nights ago saying I’m being so petty and these babies should grow up close together and we should be working on our relationship and instead I am excluding her and making a point of saying I don’t want her to know anything.

AITA?

Does Reddit think she should just let it all go? Let’s find out.

The top comment says her sister is very insensitive.

This person has some very interesting advice.

And this commenter doesn’t seem ready to forgive the sister, either.

They’re surprised the sisters still talk at all.

That’s a big oops.

I don’t think I could forgive my sister for something like this.

How insensitive could she be?

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.