Adapting to shifting family dynamics as you grow up is tough to navigate.

When this college student’s parents proposed he move into their basement to save money, past tensions resurfaced, making him question if financial stability was worth the sacrificing his autonomy.

Read on to find out how it all went down.

AITA for “ruining” a family vacation because I don’t want to move into my parents basement

I am 22M going on 23, in my 5th year of my undergrad, and my family likes to do long vacations every summer in their camper.

They were traveling all summer and we met up with them. From the moment we met up with them, my dad especially has not talked to me or been very nice towards me. He had his own share of stuff that happened on the trip with his truck which is what I initially thought the issue was.

After a few nights, my mom brought up how they wanted to renovate their basement into a 1 bedroom apartment, partly so I can move in without rent, partly to raise the value of their house.

He gives a little context on what led the family to this point.

This year I had many problems with apartments, having to move 3 times because of roommates, ex-girlfriends, and/or landlord issues, which led to my parents trying to convince me it would be best for me to move into their basement.

With my financial issues, they pitched it as a way for me to save money and stress.

He feels tensions with his sibling too.

My brother has been following every piece of advice they give him and he is obviously favored because of this. On top of this, his major is one that will start with a higher salary then I will probably ever end up with. (I’m going to be a music teacher.)

I also got caught with drugs a few years ago, which I still do and don’t tell them, but I feel like if I tell them anything about my life it immediately is followed by advice I didn’t ask for or an opinion I didn’t ask for.

I told my family I didn’t want to move into their basement because of the amount of fighting that happens whenever we live together, on top of me wanting to live independently.

The problem runs deep.

I feel like I’ve always been reliant on my parents and in their shadows. (My dad was my high school science teacher so I never felt like I was able to fully define who I was in school cause of that, another major issue we had back in the day.)

Long story short, now my parents think I’m being stupid for not doing the more financially smart thing and moving back in with them.

He’s doing ok for himself on his own.

But I have a full time job as a manager of a restaurant on top of going to school. It’s stressful, but not as bad for my mental health as me living with them full time.

I’m in a bit of credit card debt, but nothing a few months of work couldn’t fix.

He’s still left with a dilemma.

Now, I just feel like no matter what I say to them, I will be the ***hole of the family for not taking their charity when I just want to live my own life and figure out who I am outside of them.

They still do things like track my phone and refuse to let me have my own bank account, and are still trying to pay for my school, but I feel like no matter what I do from here I will be the ***hole if I don’t follow their “advice”.

AITA?

This young man needs some independence, and fast!

What did the comments section have to say?

He’s grown up now – he deserves to take back his privacy!

Maybe he should think twice about refusing his parents’ offer.

This redditor thinks the parents may not be totally in the wrong.

The past is the past, but it’s time to look ahead!

In the end, standing his ground might have caused friction, but growing pains are inevitable when it comes to personal growth.

It’s crucial to live life on your own terms.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.