As the oldest child, I know better than anybody that getting a younger sibling is a big adjustment.

You go from all eyes being on you constantly to having to share the parental spotlight with another person. It’s easy to feel a bit salty that you’re suddenly not the only one your parents are doting on.

But when this user had her first child, her husband’s ex criticized her for never giving her step-daughter a “big sister gift” when the baby was born.

Was she asking too much, or was OP being insensitive to her step-daughter’s experience? Decide for yourself!

AITA for not getting my step daughter a “big sister gift”?

I’ve been married to my husband for 3 years. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, Callie (7).

I ended up pregnant around the same time as my husband’s ex/Callie’s mom, Sandra. She gave birth 2 months after me. We didn’t talk much about it.

My husband and I did talk to Callie about the baby. We read her books about it, assured her that she’ll always be our family, we love her, etc.

This baby is an addition to our family, not replacing her in anyway. I know Sandra and her husband had a similar talk. We validated Callie’s feelings on the subject.

Even during the baby shower, things seemed fine with Callie and OP…

Anyway, I had a baby shower and Callie was there. She also went to her mother’s. Sandra’s was after mine.

Lots of people at that shower got stuff for Callie as well as the baby, which I thought was sweet.

No one had gotten her anything at mine, but my friends and family always do on Christmas and her birthday.

This was a party for me and my husband so I didn’t think anything of it. After all, we’d never expect anything on her birthday or any other celebration for her.

But when OP had her son, Callie’s aunt started dropping hints about a “gift for her”….

I had my son. Callie was super excited to meet him. She brought him a teddy bear that SIL had taken her to get for the baby.

SIL (husband’s sister) kept hinting at if there was a gift for Callie. I didn’t think much of it at the time. Then Sandra had her daughter.

SIL bought her a bear for Callie to give. Sandra and her husband had a ton of gifts for Callie to celebrate her becoming a big sister. Again, very sweet, didn’t think much of it.

3 months later, Callie’s Mom thought her and OP needed to have a serious chat…

My son is 3 months. When Sandra was dropping off Callie the other day, she asked to speak to me privately. She asked why I still hadn’t gotten Callie a big sister gift.

I said that I didn’t know it was expected. Sandra said it’s “normal”. She kept harping on the subject.

Finally, I snapped and said I have enough going on. Callie doesn’t need a gift. This is about my son. We will celebrate Callie on her birthday and whenever she has a big event.

I’d never expect someone to get something for my son when those events happen as that’ll be about Callie and not him.

But this reaction wasn’t warmly recieved by OP’s husband’s family…

Now, some of my ILs are mad at me. My husband agrees with me that we didn’t have to get Callie anything and has told Sandra that.

To be clear, Callie hasn’t said anything about this, she didn’t hear the argument or anything. According to Sandra, she’s expressed extreme disappointment.

We haven’t had any issues with Sandra until this point and I don’t want to rock the boat but I also find this whole thing ridiculous.

Sounds like a great way to give Callie a serious case of entitlement. She can’t expect a specialized gift for her at a every major family event!

Reddit thought while a gift for Callie wasn’t exactly necessary, it would have been a nice gesture.

But others thought Sandra was seriously overstepping her bounds.

This user was all too familiar with the pressure to give his other children “sibling gifts”.

Finally, this user said that while OP could do what she wanted, a gift did help her older child adjust to having a new sibling.

Talk about coddling! Kids need to learn everything isn’t always going to be about them!

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.