Family Therapist Made A Suggestion She Didn’t Want To Follow, So Now Her Daughter Is Threatening Not To Go To Therapy At All
by Jayne Elliott
When a blended family doesn’t see eye to eye, it can be a good idea to go to family therapy.
In today’s story, one teen shares why she doesn’t think family therapy is working for her family.
After you read the details, you might not blame her.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for telling my mom if she doesn’t listen to the family therapist and get solo therapy, I won’t engage in family therapy going forward?
My mom, stepdad Jim, who I’d normally say is my mom’s husband, and I (16f) are in family therapy together.
It started 8 months ago.
My mom and Jim have been married since I was 10. They have 2 kids together. My half brother is 5 and half sister is 2.5.
My dad, who my mom was married to, died when I was 8.
She likes the therapist her family is seeing.
The first therapist made no sense on anything and was even too much for my mom and Jim which says A LOT.
Current therapist has been great in my opinion. She met with us all individually for a couple of appointments and then started working with us as a group.
She was sad when her mom remarried, and she knows her mom is still upset about that.
I always knew my mom resented me for crying during her wedding. She has brought it up in therapy while not saying she holds it against me, her words say that she does.
I hadn’t been super happy about the wedding.
The wedding date was kept from me and from people in my dad’s family so they visited that weekend and I couldn’t see them, that made me sad, paired with the fact I was sad my mom was marrying someone else and paired with missing my dad, I cried a lot throughout that day.
My face was a mess in the photos because of it.
She mentioned all those details very exactly so clearly it was something she has thought about a lot.
She doesn’t plan to ever see Jim as a father figure.
Jim thought we’d have a father/daughter relationship. He doesn’t like that I don’t want it. It drives him crazy that we can get along fine but I never want to go beyond that.
He considers it more insulting that I don’t hate him but still won’t accept him as a parent or come to him like I would a parent.
I have mentioned how I don’t want Jim to fill the role of dad in my life or primary father figure and if I want a more fatherly figure for something, I prefer going to my paternal relatives who make me feel like an extra connection to my dad.
I also confirmed that I don’t want to have a relationship with Jim where he’ll walk me down the aisle some day and I don’t plan on joining him for father/daughter dances like he’s invited me to before.
I also confirmed my mom and Jim’s suspicion that I don’t feel close to my half siblings.
Her mom keeps bringing up the wedding in therapy.
My mom brought up the wedding as well as my relationship with my half siblings a lot during sessions, and mom fights back against the therapist when she tries to address it.
She has said things like I should feel guilty for hurting her on her wedding day and causing so much trouble in the family we now have.
The therapist had a suggestion about therapy that OP’s mom didn’t like.
The therapist suggested mom and Jim should seek solo therapy.
They refused.
Mom was deeply offended and argued with both the therapist and me outside of therapy about it.
The therapist has asked her why she’s so hesitant to utilize solo therapy.
She is wondering if she was wrong for threatening not to go to therapy.
Mom has really dug in her heels.
A week ago I told mom if she doesn’t listen to the therapist and go to solo therapy, I won’t engage in family therapy more because we’re getting nowhere.
She told me I did not get to decide and I did not get to tell her, the parent, what to do and she said therapy was my fault to begin with.
AITA?
I wonder why her mom is so against solo therapy.
Let’s see how Reddit responded.
This reader has a prediction about her future.
Another reader guesses why the mom isn’t happy with the therapist.
This person calls the mom “selfish.”
Another person points out that OP can leave home in a few years.
This reader thinks the mom might get revenge.
If the mom had told her daughter ahead of time about the wedding, maybe things would have been different.
But maybe not.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.
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