When your parents come to visit it can be easy to fall into old living dynamics since you stayed under their roof for so long.

What would you do if you snapped back at your mother and then she started giving you the silent treatment?

That is what the daughter in this story is dealing with, so she tells her parents to find somewhere else to stay.

Check it out.

AITA for telling my parents to think about whether they want to stay with me after my mom gave me the silent treatment?

I (F31) live on another continent from my parents.

We have a rocky relationship, because my mother is controlling and throws fits when she doesn’t get her way.

My dad is unfortunately an enabler and goes for “It’s your fault, you should apologize for upsetting your mother” every time.

That is not much room for everyone.

Recently they came to stay in my 400 sqft studio apartment with me, despite me saying they might be more comfortable in a hotel.

For cultural reasons (Asian family), my mom thinks that she needs to come rearrange my kitchen and cook food for me (she gives me no choice in this) and that I should be grateful and revert to the powerlessness of my childhood.

I would get real sick of this real quick.

For example, she decides what I eat for every meal, I get questioned about when I’m leaving the house and when I’m coming back etc.

I came home from work yesterday and the water was out without warning.

I got slightly upset as my landlord has been guilty of doing this kind of thing before, without 24-hour notice.

As I was putting in the work order, I muttered under my breath about how annoying it was and I was clearly frustrated.

My mom started telling me to calm down, why do I always get so worked up about these things.

Mom needs to mind her own business.

I was already frustrated, so I said (calmly) “Don’t tell me to calm down. I have the right to be upset about this. My feelings are valid.”

I did not raise my voice.

My mom hates when I say things like this, so she responded by throwing whatever she was holding to the ground and giving me the silent treatment.

Real mature Mom.

Before she started that she said “Well, I have the right to feel many things too. How dare you talk to me that way”.

Then gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night, including refusing to eat dinner.

This morning, they left for a short trip but will be coming back to stay with me later.

As we were waiting for the taxi, I asked my mom (a little incredulously) if she was going to continue giving me the silent treatment when she came back.

She didn’t respond.

Good job standing up for herself.

I said, “This is the one time I’m going to bring it up, I’m not going to keep asking about it. There’s not much point in coming to visit me if you’re going to ignore me the whole time.”

My mom then said “Fine, then we won’t stay with you when we get back. We’ll make alternate arrangements.”

My dad started laying into me about how it’s my fault because I was upset and I upset her yesterday by “throwing a tantrum” and now I was “trying to bully her into speaking to me”.

So I said “If you really feel that way then maybe you should think about whether you want to stay with me when you get back.”

AITA?

Your parents really need to grow up.

I’m sure the people in the comments have a lot to say. Let’s take a look.

Good point.

It usually just takes standing up to them once.

Yup, get them a nice hotel and be firm.

She has to decide if she is going to live like this or not.

Good idea, it sets good boundaries.

Sometimes parents need to be reminded that their kids have grown up.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.