After years of strained family dynamics, a mom turns down her estranged sister’s offer to take her 3-year-old to Chicago for a month.

With a history of emotional distance and hurtful comments, it’s no surprise she didn’t feel comfortable.

But did she go too far in expressing her distrust?

Read the details and decide for yourself!

AITA for telling my sister I would never let her watch my kids?

My sister offered to take my 3 year old with her home to Chicago for a month to help me out.

My (30F) older sister (48F) lives in Chicago and we live in North Carolina.

I am the youngest of 9 and I never formed a relationship with her.

I tried a long time ago but it just didn’t work out.

That’s unfortunate.

A little background of our relationship: In her childhood, our mother allowed some bad things to happen to her.

I genuinely believe that she took her frustrations out on me instead of our mother so I try to give her grace.

In my childhood, she treated me like a stepsister.

She treated me like I was a nuisance to be around.

She would call me names and would pick at me about the smallest things.

She would show blatant favoritism by getting my cousins gifts and not getting me anything as a child.

She would do this in front of me.

She would talk down to me.

She never tried spending quality time with me.

Big sister energy for sure.

Whenever she would talk to me, it would always be about what I was doing wrong.

There’s so much more but I would be typing all day.

Now that we’re older, she doesn’t even call me.

I have called her on numerous occasions to check in on her.

For example, when she was admitted into the hospital because she had an allergic reaction AND when she almost cut her fingers off, I called her.

When my daughter was in the hospital, she never called to check on me to see if I was okay or to see if my baby was okay.

If anything she made me feel guilty for being in the hospital with my child while she was having HEART surgery.

Uh, excuse me?

She literally asked me, “Why has our mother been watching your children for 2 weeks” … they knew why.

When I reminded her about my child’s heart surgery, she says to me, “Well. Your other children miss you and you need to get them.  I’m not sure why you’re so concerned about your child in the hospital. She won’t remember any of it when she gets older.”

She asked me why I said no.

And I told her, “I’m not leaving my child for an entire month with someone I don’t trust in an entire different state. I don’t even KNOW you. You’ve never showed empathy towards me or her in the past and you expect me to leave her with you. I would never in my life do that.”

Now everyone is calling me a jerk because I hurt her feelings.

AITH?

Decades of unresolved issues and emotional coldness don’t magically disappear with a well-meaning offer.

Family or not, trust isn’t automatic.

Reddit doesn’t think she was out of line at all.

This person validates her feelings.

This person has her own story.

And this person says caring is just not in the cards.

Sometimes, blood isn’t thicker than boundaries.

And honestly, no one blames her.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.