Different people have different parenting styles, and when two people get divorced, things can get pretty sticky pretty quick.

This mom likes to encourage independent thought and gentle questioning of authority, but her ex vehemently disagrees.

He’s threatening to take her back to court, but what does Reddit think?

Let’s find out.

AITA for telling my kids anything I say is up for debate

My ex and I have two kids, 7M and 5F.

We have very different parenting styles.

He’s very authoritative and, while I wouldn’t call myself permissive, I try to give the kids as much control in their day-to-day lives as possible.

It’s always nice to give kids independence whenever possible!

Something new that I’ve been trying with the kids is that I told them nearly all of my decisions are up for debate, meaning if they could understand my reasoning for my decision but come up with a respectful well thought-out compromise or argument, I may change my mind.

An example of this happened the other day.

My son asked for an Icee, and I said no.

He asked why and I told him it had too much sugar, and I didn’t want to spend my money on it.

He went to his room and came back 10 minutes later asking if I could take him to get an Icee if he gets 100% on his practice spelling test, buys the Icee with his own money, and skips dessert for the next two nights.

Wow, this is turning into “Let’s Make a Deal”!

I decided that was a fair agreement that addressed my concerns and was presented in a respectful manner; he completed his end of the bargain with his spelling test and getting the money out of his bank, and he got an Icee.

The next day, he asked for dessert but accepted it when I reminded him that he said two days without dessert in exchange for the Icee.

So, how does the ex feel? Is he on board?

My ex hates that I’m doing this.

Apparently the kids ask why he makes every decision and try to come to an agreement with him for everything.

He told me to stop and that I’m encouraging the kids to try to undermine his parenting, but I’m trying to teach them critical thinking and problem-solving skills and to question/challenge authority.

Will the ex come around?

He’s trying to spin this into me turning the kids against him and threatened to take me back to court if I don’t stop.

AITA?

What does Reddit think?

Is this mother’s parenting tactic too invasive?

Some people thought this tactic was “smart.”

Others said “NTA” with a caveat.

But, then, some firmly believed “YTA.”

And others stood firm in “NTA” but had a warning.

This parenting tactic may not work for every situation.

This mother needs to be aware of what she got herself into.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.