Being a host for a BBQ party means preparing enough food for your guests and having a little extra.

In today’s story, a woman shares a story about a BBQ event she and her ex attended. It was her ex’s friend who was hosting.

Only 8 people were originally invited, but there were 4 additional tag-along guests, including her.

She was shocked at how she and the other tag-along guests were treated.

See what happened in the story below.

AITA for declining leftover food at my bfs friends bbq after the group ate first right in front of us?

I (37F) met my now ex’s (38M) friends for the first time at a pre-drink/bbq he invited me to join him on.

They seemed nice enough.

But prior to getting there, my ex said that his friend messaged him.

This woman assumed the guests had started eating and they could just join when they arrived.

He said the host feels bad because they are having a bbq, and there may not be enough food for everyone. So, if we see food lying around, we should not feel bad about it.

I said this is fine, of course!

I assumed he meant they’d have already eaten and we were joining after.

All invited guests sat down and started eating, but the 4 of them weren’t offered to eat yet.

We get there, and it’s clear they haven’t eaten yet.

8 people were invited of the 12 guests for the dinner, 4 of us were not.

When it came to meal time, the 8 of them sat around a nicely set table and chowed down without making eye contact with us while we stood on the outside of the table chatting.

She felt very awkward.

I thought this was so weird.

My ex did not, I guess.

It was awkward, and we were actually starving!

When the meal was done, the host got up and said to us, “Guys, please help yourself,” referring to the leftovers. LOL.

Her ex eventually asked her to eat.

I know people are all raised differently, but this struck me as so odd.

My ex went and got some food on a plate, and said, “Come eat.”

And for some reason, I just couldn’t get myself to do it.

I don’t even know these people, and it was so uncomfortable.

She declined, and they broke up.

I politely said, “No, thank you,” and carried on my conversation.

Well, my ex was so bothered by this reaction from me that it ruined the whole evening for him.

And we actually broke up after that (he broke up with me).

Now, she’s confused if this behavior is normal for some people.

He had originally said we would just eat together at the street festival, so I was bothered that he put me in that position and then was mad at me for choosing not to eat, and grabbing a snack on the street?

Is this culturally normal behaviour for some people?

Was I rude or in the wrong for doing this?

Or was he gaslighting me by being mad and making me feel like the rude person for declining food?

It does sound like it was an awkward meal, and everyone knew it since the people who were eating didn’t make eye contact with the people who weren’t eating.

Let’s check out how people on Reddit reacted to this story.

This user finds it weird.

Sounds like a mess, says this person.

This user shares their honest opinion.

While this person thinks she’s lucky this happened early in the relationship.

Finally, here’s a short but straightforward comment.

Obviously, they are bad at being hosts. This is not acceptable at all!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.