After her move back to town, a MIL began hosting dinners to spend time with family and her grandchild.

But with meals consistently delayed until 9 PM, and parenting critiques taking center stage, the gatherings are causing more stress than joy.

This mom took a stand, but not everyone is ok with her boundaries.

Read on for the story.

AITA for refusing to go to my MIL’s for dinner anymore?

I want to preface this by saying that I am on the spectrum, and therefore struggle with nuanced social situations.

Which is why I’m reaching out to reddit for some third party insight.

My MiL has recently moved back to our hometown after finally escaping from her ex.

My husband and I were unaware of the severity of the situation (because MiL made efforts to hide it), and I know that my husband is feeling very guilty about it.

But MiL is doing better and has her own little apartment in town and has been working and rebuilding her life.

We’ve made efforts to support her as much as possible, but we are in a tight spot financially, so what we can do is limited.

Sometimes, support isn’t about money—it’s about respect.

For the past few couple weeks, my MiL has been inviting us over to her place for dinner multiple times a week.

She has always loved to cook, and says she is excited to get to cook for family again.

Plus she gets to spend time with our toddler.

The problem is that she has consistently told us to be there around 6pm, only for her to not have dinner ready until 9pm or later. And she refuses any help in the kitchen.

This is a major issue because we wind up staying out passed our daughter’s bedtime.

Her whole nighttime routine gets thrown off, and it makes it harder to get her down for bed.

Not to mention how cranky she gets waiting on the food.

Bedtime battles are a sour side dish.

I’ve tried to gently talk to my MiL about this, but she has always been critical of me, and of my parenting.

She thinks it’s outrageous that I keep my daughter on such a strict schedule, and insists that when her kids were little, they didn’t have schedules, and just ate when they were hungry and fell asleep when they were tired and it worked out just fine.

I asked my husband to talk to his mom about it, but she basically told him the same thing.

Then went off on him about how she was just trying to help us out financially by providing a few meals for us, and how it was terrible of us to try to make her feel bad for just wanting to spend time with her family.

So he dropped it, and we’ve been back to her place for dinner a couple more times since then.

And it’s still been served at 9pm.

And she’s been making passive aggressive comments about how I need to loosen up and how I can’t expect the world to stick to my schedule.

When dinner turns into a lecture on parenting, maybe it’s time to eat elsewhere.

And my husband thinks we should just put up with it because his mom has been through so much, and he feels partially responsible because he was unaware of the situation and wasn’t able to protect her.

But after a particularly critical phone call with her yesterday, I told my husband that I didn’t want to go to her place for dinner anymore.

He insisted that she’s just stressed because of everything she’s been through, and we need to show her some leniency.

I told him that she can come over to our place for dinner every now and then, that would be fine.

But I’m not going to be held captive at her apartment anymore.

We didn’t really come to an agreement, though.

And I’m thinking that maybe I’m being too harsh on my MiL, and torturing my husband in the process.

So reddit, AITA?

Is it fair to set boundaries and skip these dinners, or should her struggles earn her more patience?

Overall, Reddit thinks her decision is completely justified.

This person says to just disengage. She’s NOT in the wrong.

This person says a kid on a schedule is important and NOT to be disrespected.

This person thinks next time…just walk out!

It’s settled…

When dinner plans come with a side of guilt and chaos, it’s hard to dig in.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.