A Relative Took Toys Meant For Charity Without Asking And Gave Them To Her Grandkids. Now Their Uncle Is The Bad Guy For Being Mad About It.
by Diana Whelan
Sometimes being generous comes with unexpected challenges, especially when boundaries aren’t respected.
A stash of toys set aside for charity became a point of conflict after a relative decided to take some for her grandkids—without asking first.
Now, the family is pushing for forgiveness, but can trust be restored when the act has been brushed off so casually?
Find out how they figure this one out below!
AITA: My relative took some toys for her grandkids without asking me
I have various family members visiting with their kids around the year.
They bring their kids and as the “fun uncle” I take them around town and see the sites and parks.
This time I had a pile of new toys that I had been saving to give to a charity and this relative “Heather” asked me why I had so many.
I explained the situation and that I was giving them in remembrance of my mum, since she loved kids.
How sweet.
Heather then mentioned that her very young granddaughters might appreciate a couple of the toys too.
I just looked at her and said no.
It’s not that I don’t give the kids in the family presents, but these were not for them.
We didn’t discuss it again.
The following day Heather left to go back home whilst I was at work.
When I returned, I was told by family that she had asked them if she could take a couple of the toys.
Now Heather is quite forceful and the other family member was a bit cowed, and kind of just mentioned maybe she should wait for me to get home.
Heather overrode their objections and took the toys and left.
Wowwww.
I was obviously mad when I got home to that news and rang her straightaway.
She claimed that the charity (it’s a children’s hospice) wouldn’t miss a couple of toys and it was too late now as her granddaughters had already opened them and loved them.
Heather said it sounded like I was calling her a thief, and she didn’t appreciate that and now I had spoilt the joy she would have at seeing the little ones playing with them because of my implication that she had stolen them.
I was so furious that I slammed the phone down and didn’t speak to her again for around 4 months.
Silent treatment will do it.
Now during that time she would ring and my other relatives would answer the call and chide me for not forgiving Heather.
When I finally did talk to her she said she would no longer allow herself to feel guilty for what she had done and I could not sit in judgment over her and make her feel bad.
Now I know she’s a complete and utter AH for what she did, but my family are telling me to drop it as it’s been months and I’m causing an unnecessary fuss.
I have decided to be civil since she’s ill but I really can’t forgive her for not only taking those toys but also not being able to feel like I can trust her my home if she ever visits again.
So am I the AH for still being a judgemental b*stard and not truly forgiving her?
It’s one thing to make a mistake, but refusing to apologize and turning the blame on someone else only makes it harder to move forward.
Forgiveness might be on the table eventually, but trust isn’t something that’s easily rebuilt—especially when the wrongdoing is minimized.
Not one person on Reddit thinks she needs to be forgiven.
This person says to play reverse psychology on the relatives who think she should be forgiven.
This person says this will never be forgivable.
This person says a thief is a thief and he is not the AH at all.
Taking what isn’t yours and demanding forgiveness?
That’s a tough sell.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.

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