Look, people can joke about situations like this all they want, but anyone who has read The Hot Zone or seen Outbreak knows that research monkeys on the loose are no laughing matter.

I mean…monkeys in public are no laughing matter regardless of where they came from, at least in the United States.

No one is saying these South Carolina monkeys are carrying something like ebola, but the police are warning residents to be careful and be on the lookout.

They escaped from a lab run by Alpha Genesis, which is one of the largest monkey breeders in the world. Even though they claim to offer “the highest quality nonhuman primate products and bio-research services world-wide,” the Yemassee Police Department and Beaufort County weren’t taking any chances.

Monkeys that escaped the biolab in South Carolina are out there living their best life. pic.twitter.com/qmKZlmK6k8
— TheTexasOne (@TexasRepublic71) November 10, 2024

Forty-three of the monkeys managed to escape said facility and led police on a merry chase about town. Alpha Genesis said the monkeys were too young to have been used in any testing and did not carry any diseases.

“We want to assure the community that there is no health risk associated with these animals.”

Residents were advised to lock their doors and windows and to not attempt to pet the monkeys should they come across one, not to pet it.

Which you know had to be said. People love to pet things that might bite off their hands.

The final four monkeys who escaped a medical lab in South Carolina more than a month ago are sticking close together as they avoid trapshttps://t.co/cv6ItK4CNa
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 22, 2024

Rhesus macaque monkeys are very intelligent, sociably, and docile before the enter puberty, as well as being lively and loud lab assistants. The forty-three escapees were all young females weighing less than 7 pounds.

The company and the police ended up luring the monkeys back into the facility with fruit trails, so I don’t know.

Maybe they’re not that smart after all.

Or maybe being tempted by a yummy treat makes them more human than not.

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