Moving in together was supposed to be exciting, but one major issue quickly took over—cleaning.

She loves a tidy space; he doesn’t see the point.

Despite chore charts, new rules, and countless conversations, the mess just keeps growing.

Now, the apartment is buried in trash, dirty dishes, and laundry, and she’s at her breaking point.

Read on for the story.

AITA? My boyfriend won’t clean up after himself, or at all.

My boyfriend (M22) and I (F22) have been together for 4.5 years and moved in together last August.

The biggest challenge has been cleaning.

I like having a clean, organized space, while he grew up in a household where cleaning wasn’t a priority.

His mom did the cleaning, but she didn’t do much due to being overwhelmed.

Before moving in, we agreed on a chore chart to split responsibilities evenly.

We also decided to rotate chores weekly and alternate doing dishes every day.

A few months in, I noticed he wasn’t doing his chores, so I made a change.

Famous last words of every clean partner in a messy relationship.

We agreed that if one person skips their chores, they’re responsible for them until they’re done, and then we resume the original schedule.

This change was after several talks about the importance of a clean space for my mental health.

Despite understanding and agreeing to these changes, he still doesn’t follow through.

He uses my throw blankets and towels but doesn’t clean them.

He leaves wet towels around the bathroom for weeks.

I’ve even bought separate towels and dishes for myself, but he still doesn’t treat my things with respect.

When the shared towels and dishes I provided run out, he asks to use mine, promising to clean them afterward—but never does.

At this point, you’re not his girlfriend—you’re his unpaid maid with emotional attachments.

Early on, he explained that he wasn’t cleaning because he was adjusting to living alone for the first time.

Later, it became about depression, then a lack of time, and eventually that he didn’t see the point of cleaning since things just get dirty again.

Sometimes he asks me to do it all and offers to pay me. Every excuse seems different, but the pattern remains: nothing changes.

Now it’s February, and the mess is unbearable—piles of trash, dirty dishes, spoiled food, and laundry everywhere.

Despite having multiple conversations, the situation hasn’t improved.

I feel exhausted and disrespected, and I’m unsure what else to do.

Sounds like the only thing getting cleaned out is your patience.

Am I the a****** for getting upset about this? Is it wrong to ask him to clean the dishes after a week of no cooking because the kitchen is unusable?

Would I be unreasonable to tell him he can’t use my things anymore unless he takes care of them?

I’m starting to think he doesn’t value my belongings because they weren’t his to begin with.

At this point, she’s not his girlfriend—she’s an unpaid maid with emotional attachments.

And Reddit agrees.

This person warns not to do this to herself.

This person says you can’t change someone like this, but it stinks.

And this person gave her an ultimatum.

If love is blind, it must also be nose-blind, because this place sounds like it stinks.

She needs to kick this guy and all of his trash straight to the curb.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.