It’s tragic when parents give their kids good advice but they don’t listen.

In this man’s case, he offered to pay for his daughter’s college and to gift her a house (!!!), but she declined it and went her own way. Then she backpedaled, but it was too late.

Now he’s wondering if he’s in the wrong.

Let’s analyze the situation.

Made Daughter An Offer, She Declined and Now Wants It Back as $$$

My dad passed away a few years ago.

Not long after, my mom had a disabling stroke and I had to put her in an assisted living facility.

This is all in my hometown about 500 miles from where I’ve now lived for many years.

I was co-owner of their house.

I knew Mom wouldn’t be coming home and proceeded to clean out the house.

It involved a lot of tasks to make it look new.

I also did extensive repairs, kept the taxes and insurance paid, kept it from looking deserted by making sure the grass was cut and bushes trimmed, lights on timers, neighbors parking in driveway, etc.

Mom’s health declined and she passed at some point.

This meant the house was now vacant.

During this time my daughter was in high school and looking towards college.

She considered my alma mater in my hometown (an excellent University).

I told her if she chose to go there, she could live in the house (which was looking like new) and I’d cover the costs – utilities, grass cutting, groceries.

She could, if she wished, get a roommate.

Sounds like a sweet deal, but would she appreciate that?

It was about 20 minutes from campus in a beautiful neighborhood.

Nice lot, beautifully landscaped, two car garage, all new high-end appliances and carpeting, remodeled bath, new HVAC and roof, etc.

After graduation, if she chose to seek and find a career there (lots of opportunities and growth in that city) I’d give her the house.

So at 22-23, she’d be off to a good start plus she’d own a great house free and clear.

It’s an amazing opportunity, but she didn’t quite accept it.

She chose a university in our state. A very fine school.

We’d funded her college account as our wish is to have her graduate with no debt.

Since she wasn’t going to use the house and it was too far to run as a rental, I sold it, netting about $550K which I channeled into other investments.

Daughter goes off to college.

They had her best interest in mind, but she had a different idea of what to do.

We’d talked for years about careers and I advised her to pick something she can love and be excited about.

To explore opportunities and growth in that field and think about where it will take her.

She’s chosen a pretty much useless generic major in my opinion, unlikely to produce much success.

OK, she’s an adult and it’s her choice.

In speaking with her, I’m not talking it down but am less than enthusiastic about her endeavors.

Things were tense since they now disagreed.

She’s also all about enjoying the “college experience” and finding fun on campus.

OK, her life. She’s 19 and legally an adult.

Contact lately with her is minimal despite our best efforts. She ignores calls and texts.

She called me last weekend and said she wanted to talk about the house issue.

I told her that ship had sailed as I no longer owned it.

Uh-oh.

She said she understood that but asked if I was willing to give it to her if she lived there during college…

Shouldn’t that mean that the offer was good even if she went to college elsewhere.

She continued that I didn’t have the expense of maintaining it for those four years and the money invested was generating returns for me.

She isn’t interested in any part of that, just the principal amount from the sale minus any expenses incurred in selling it.

She said that seems fair to everyone.

There seemed to be miscommunication on both parts.

I laughed and said I’d give her points for creativity but the offer was very specific, and had been effectively turned down.

We’ll still see that she (hopefully) graduates debt-free (I have serious doubts) but she’s not getting a half-million check in her graduation card.

My wife and I have discussed it and agree.

My wife also told me it’s part of my inheritance and my decision to make, but she thinks the initial offer was quite generous.

AITA?

That’s a complicated situation that could change their relationship forever.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Yup.

This commenter shares their opinion.

Something to think about.

Another reader chimes in.

Someone shares a similar story.

Possibly.

She took his offer for granted and learned a lesson the hard way.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.