Having to convince someone to consider your needs is the worst.

In this man’s case, he is saving to visit his dad for his 90th birthday in his home country, but his girlfriend is insisting that he spend his savings on a trip to her home country.

She wants him to pay for everything, but he refuses, and now she’s upset. Could he possibly be in the wrong?

Let’s find out.

AITA for refusing to go on an expensive trip with my partner?

AITA? I (M43) had an argument with my partner (F32) about a trip to her home country.

We both live abroad, work full-time, and contribute to shared expenses, but I earn more and cover almost all our bills.

I also pay for all our travel (usually alternating between visiting her home country and mine each year) and am the only one saving for the future.

This sounds like a burden and puts a strain on the relationship.

She spends about a quarter of her salary on shared expenses, with the rest going to herself and her family.

Travel is expensive, and after bills and savings, it takes up all my disposable income.

This year, my dad is turning 90, and I’m planning something special for him, which means traveling to my country.

It’s a milestone birthday, and I want to go all out because I don’t know how many more he’ll have.

It’s a very important milestone and it means a lot to him.

It’s a huge expense, but to me, it’s worth it.

Every penny I save is going toward this, and even then, I probably won’t have enough saved in time.

My partner, however, recently said she wants to go home this year too, even though it’s not her turn.

I told her I can’t afford two big trips, but I could just about manage to buy her a ticket and send her alone if I cut back on my own personal spending.

That’s a reasonable proposition, but she wasn’t pleased.

She refused, saying she doesn’t want to travel alone and insists I come with her.

I suspect part of the reason is financial because if she goes alone, she’ll stay in her family’s cramped home, but if I go, we’ll stay in a hotel that I’d be paying for.

On top of that, I’d also be expected to cover expenses, including meals out with her friends and family.

Uh-oh. That’s not fair, especially considering his dad’s birthday.

I don’t mind doing this once a year when I’ve planned for it, but this year, all my savings are going toward my dad’s birthday.

I told her I can’t afford both trips, but she insists I have more money than I claim because I save while she doesn’t.

I told her we could work together to save up for the trip later in the year.

But she insists she has to go in the next two months (not enough time to save the required amount) because the weather in her country gets bad after that.

He still wants to prioritize his dad’s birthday.

I feel like an ATM rather than a partner at this point.

If this were an emergency, I’d find a way, but I don’t think I should have to dip into savings or take away from my dad’s milestone birthday just because she suddenly decided she is homesick.

AITA for saying no?

I think he is being perfectly reasonable. He needs to establish a few boundaries from now on.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this situation.

A commenter shares their opinion.

This reader breaks it down.

Yup.

Another commenter chimes in.

Sad if true.

This person also reassures him.

Her attitude says a lot about her priorities.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.