The saying goes that when you marry someone you also marry their family, but not everyone gets along with their in-laws. It gets even more complicated when in-laws appear that you didn’t even know about.

In today’s story, one woman is hesitant to get to know her brother-in-law’s sister because she hasn’t been around the family for very long. Her brother-in-law only found her through an online DNA registry, and it all seems a little suspicious.

Let’s see how the story unfolds.

AITA For telling my BIL that his sister is a stranger to me, which my own sister said was insensitive to his childhood experiences?

For anonymity, I will call my sister “Emma”, her husband “Chris”, and Chris’ sister “Zoey”.

Chris and Zoey went into the system and were separated at a young age.

Chris signed up for an online DNA registry so possible relatives could reach out, which led to Zoey finding him.

She’s suspicious of Zoey.

Based on the reasoning she gave for reaching out now, I have serious suspicious as to what her real intentions are for reaching out. But even giving her the benefit of the doubt, it’s been only a few months and is still too soon for me.

I will say that Zoey seems nice, but it hasn’t been long.

I don’t know what kind of person she is or how stable this relationship is, which is why I am not comfortable introducing my children to her beyond shared holiday events or having them interact with Zoey beyond that capacity.

She really doesn’t want to get closer to Zoey or her kids.

Emma and Chris are pushing me to get the kids more involved. Specifically shared auntie days and play dates with the cousins since me and Zoey’s kids are similar in age.

I tried to be polite, but my sister and BIL keep finding ways around it, so I decided to be truthful.

I explained to Emma and Chris why I was not comfortable with my kids interacting with Zoey beyond special occasions, which led to a disagreement.

They said that they want Zoey and her kids to feel included by the entire family, especially given Zoey’s circumstances.

She was honest about how she feels about Zoey.

My children have already experienced trauma related to losing family members. What if I let them get attached to their auntie and cousins, BIL and his sister decide to have a falling out, and then Zoey and her kids suddenly vanish from our lives?

I have to be cautious for my kids’ sake and consider how they will be affected.

I told Emma and Chris that I will reconsider if it is proven with time that this connection is stable and honest on Zoey’s end. But, frankly, Zoey is a stranger and the needs of my kids come before a stranger and her kids.

Emma said something that made her wonder if she messed up.

Chris asked me to leave, and Emma later berated me over the phone.

She said it was my right to have opinions, but what I said was incredibly insensitive to Chris’ childhood experience.

She says I have shown a lack of empathy towards Chris and should consider how he feels growing up without family and now having the family he found reject Zoey and him by extension.

I will not apologize for setting a boundary of putting my kids first. However, is Emma right that the way I said it was unacceptable and my statement was insensitive to Chris’ childhood experience? AITA?

Chris probably doesn’t like having his sister called “a stranger,” but OP doesn’t know her very well. I see both sides of this story.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say.

It’s not like she’s really related to Zoey.

You’d think Chris would understand her perspective.

This person isn’t close to her brother’s sister-in-law.

Being friendly at family events is enough.

They don’t have to be new best friends.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.