When you buy a house and get married, whose name or names should be on the mortgage?

If both spouses are paying for the mortgage, should both names be on the mortgage, or would there ever be a time when it would make more sense to only have one person’s name on the mortgage?

The couple in this story disagree about the answer to this question, but they need to reach an agreement if they want to buy their dream house.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for telling my fiancé I won’t help pay the mortgage?

For some background, I, 29F and my fiancé 30M have been together for 10 years.

We had a baby back in 2020 and I lost my job around the same time.

Our lease to our apartment was up and my grandma offered for us to move in with her so we did.

We basically had our own little apartment rent free.

It seems like things are going well.

I had thrown the idea of going to school out there and everyone agreed it was a good idea, my fiancé paid for it and my grandma watched my baby while I went to class.

I graduate this semester (I did part time for a couple semesters).

My fiancé has been making 90K a year for the past couple years and 70K when we first moved in.

He’s saved a good amount of money.

They’re almost ready to move on to the next phase of their lives together.

We agreed to wait to get married until I finished school and we could buy a house together.

We’ve been looking at houses more seriously for a past couple months and found one we both love.

We started talking to a mortgage broker and that’s when he dropped the bomb on it being HIM and ONLY HIM on the mortgage and the deed.

He said I wouldn’t have anything to do with it.

I didn’t say anything in the meeting but afterwards I told him I thought WE were buying the house together and I’d pay half the mortgage.

That’s not exactly what he was thinking.

He said I would be paying half the mortgage but my name just wouldn’t be on it.

So I told him that would mean I’d have no right to the house and he said he knew?!!

He said since he saved the 40% down that it’s only fair that he has the rights to the house in case we end things.

I told him if that’s what he wants to do then I’m not paying for the mortgage.

I said this isn’t a partnership and if he just wants his own place fine but I’m not paying for it.

Now they’re arguing about what’s fair.

He called me a b saying that he paid for everything for the past few years including my schooling.

I told him I stayed home and watched our child so we didn’t have to pay for daycare and that ended up saving us money since I would’ve been only able to work part time.

He said he didn’t care and I need to pay for half since I already agreed to it.

So reddit AITAH for refusing to pay the mortgage?

It sounds like they plan to get married, and in a marriage, it’s easier to just pool your money or at least have a joint account where you both put a good chunk of money to pay for expenses like the mortgage and utility bills.

Splitting bills like this feels like something roommates or business partners would do, and her name should definitely be on the mortgage. It’s their house not his house.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This is a good suggestion.

I completely agree with this comment.

Her name should be on the mortgage.

Maybe a breakup is in order.

You don’t pay the mortgage if your name isn’t on the mortgage.

Period.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.