Groceries are expensive these days.

In this story, one person takes cost-cutting to extreme lengths.

Let’s check it out.

I Have Gazed Into the Eyes of a Customer Who Brought 46 Coupons and Survived

I have seen true darkness.

It came to my register in the form of a middle-aged customer clutching a wad of coupons thick enough to alter the Earth’s gravitational field.

Sounds heavy.

At first, I was naïve.

They unloaded their cart—innocently enough—while keeping one hand firmly gripped on the stack.

A silent promise that the real battle had yet to begin.

Dun dun dun.

Then, they spoke: “I have some coupons.”

The air shifted. The lights flickered.

A distant manager’s walkie crackled ominously.

I scanned the first one.

The system hesitated.

It was as if it knew what was coming.

The processing slowed.

The computer began to sweat.

Even the computer was sweating?! What will happen?

Coupon… after coupon…

The receipt stretched longer and longer, cascading over the counter like an ancient scroll detailing the fall of civilizations.

Customers in line began to mourn their lost time. A child, once full of life, grew old before my very eyes.

Beards are lengthening before our very eyes. Will anyone make it out alive??

The register screamed in protest: “EXCEEDS COUPON LIMIT. MANAGER OVERRIDE REQUIRED.”

The manager appeared from nowhere.

They did not speak. They only nodded. They had been through this before.

Phewph, a seasoned professional here to save the day. Will it work?

Minutes turned to hours.

Reality blurred.

I no longer knew who I was, only that I was scanning… always scanning.

And then, at last—it was done. The total: $0.37.

The customer smiled. They had won.

They always win.

Victory… is not OP’s.

As they walked away, receipt trailing behind them like a bridal train, I heard them whisper: “See you next week.”

I fell to my knees.

In supplication or terror?

Either way, let’s see what the comments say.

This person says some people are coupon royalty.

This person says, I support it.

Someone here says, how is this possible?

One user is just like, LOL.

A European weighs in and says, crazy Americans!

Couponing can be an extreme sport.

And cashiers have to play referee.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.