Bringing up a child is quite the balance.

You have to set rules and boundaries, without being too strict and letting them test the boundaries every now and then.

You need to make them feel supported and cared for, whilst also allowing them to experiment, use their initiative, and make their own mistakes.

And you need to make them feel special without inadvertently creating a narcissist – and that is exactly the situation that the aunt in this story accidentally walked into.

Read on to find out how a quick trip to Target turned into a nightmare.

AITA for telling my six-year-old nephew he is not special, after he told me he can do and get what he wants because everyone calls him special?

I recently went to visit my family, and one weekend was supposed to go with my sister and my nephew to indoor playground and arcade but something came up on her end.

I offered to take my nephew since we did plan to make a day of it.

She agreed, and overall it was a lot of fun. He was fine the entire day, did not fuss or anything.

But then one moment changed everything.

My mom asked if I could pick up her order from Target, and it was in the area so I said sure. The order was not ready so we killed time walking around.

Apparently this was my grave mistake – I was unaware my sister gets him whatever he wants when he wants it. She does very well for herself, so she can.

He showed me, a Nerf gun he wanted, I commented and said that was cool. He did not ask for it anything, and he still had it in his hand.

I did not think much of it in the moment, since I did the same as a kid, and when it was time I would leave at the counter.

Uh-oh. Let’s see what happened when the order was ready.

Mom’s order was done went to pick it up and he fully expected me to buy it.

I told him I was not going to buy it, and maybe he could ask his mom for it next time. I offered to take a picture of it so he could show her exactly what he wanted.

That is when he told me his mom would not mind, she always gets him what he wants because he is special and special people get whatever they want. ​

In this context I kind of get in hindsight from a kids’ point of view, that no one ever really tells him no.

Read on to find out how she reacted to his words.

I told him I was not everyone else, and I had no intention of buying anything at the store.

He doubled down started to fuss telling me I had to listen to him because he was the kid and he is special.

That is when I told him, he is no more special or unique to anyone else. He was still giving me a hard time, and during that time my mom called.

I picked up, and he shouted that I would not buy him what he wants. My mom told me to stop being so cheap and buy it.

Yikes! Let’s see how she reacted to her mom’s words.

I was started to get embarrassed and very uncomfortable. I had no idea how to handle the situation so I bought it because we were making a scene, and I don’t have much experience with kids. ​​

When we got home I explained the situation, and my mom and sister were not pleased – my sister told me she does not believe in telling a child no.

They also were mad that I did not retract my statement that he is not special, because he should be the most special person to me. My sister struggled to have kids, and as such he is a gift.

AITA?

This is a really tricky one.

The kid can’t grow up with this narcissistic complex, believing that he always gets his own way because he is special. Plus, his aunt might not be able to afford this toy like his mom could – and might not have even wanted to buy him it not knowing if he would be allowed it.

However, it’s also important to make a kid feel valued, important, and loved, and unfortunately thanks to the questionable work the mom and grandmother have put in, the aunt’s reaction was inconsistent.

His consequential meltdown meant that she caved, reinforcing their lesson that he gets what he wants – but it’s not her fault when she was completely unprepared for the situation.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that by giving into the kid constantly, the mom and grandma are setting him up for an unpleasant life.

While others suggested the aunt be equally entitled in return.

And this Redditor encouraged her to take it as a learning experience.

At some point, the kid needs to learn that he can’t just have everything he wants because he’s ‘special’.

Sure his mom may be over the moon to have him, given she thought she wasn’t able to have kids. But she’s actually doing him a huge disservice by treating him this way.

She’s also likely doing a huge disservice to herself and her family in the future, because he won’t grow into a nice child this way, and that’s a problem they’ll all have to deal with.

Kids needs love and to know they’re important, but they also need to know they’re equal to others.

Otherwise, things are going to get nasty.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.