When your dad blows up your family and marries the woman he cheated with, is it really on you to repair the relationship?

That’s the situation one 23-year-old Redditor found himself in after years of hurt, therapy, and radio silence. Now his dad wants to reconnect—but there’s one very big (and unwelcome) catch.

Read on for the story.

AITA for refusing to work on my relationship with my dad because I won’t ever respect his marriage to his affair partner or want them around me?

When I (23m) was 12 and my siblings were 15 and 10, my mom kicked dad out because he was having an affair with someone they knew through a friend of theirs.

The affair had been going on for like two years or something like that. Me and my siblings picked up on what happened because dad moved out and in with this woman and right after the divorce they got married which left no room for doubt.

We all had to go for visitation at his house until we were 17 which is when the judge said we were old enough to stop. We were in therapy, thanks to mom, for several years too.

Woof.

When we had visitation at dad’s house he tried to make things work. He told us he was sorry if we got hurt and that he wanted us to know he loved us all and did not want to lose us. He tried really hard to make us like the AP too. Her presence made us all mad.

But I was the one who told her that I would never see her as anything but the a****** who slept with a married guy and helped destroy my family and that in my eyes she would never be worthy of respect or consideration. And I told her I would never respect her marriage either.

Once she realized I didn’t care about her whole “I’m still a human being worthy of respect” speech she just left it. I think she realized I really did not care about her or her feelings.

Mission accomplished.

We all had our talks with dad about how we felt about him. My siblings have very low contact with him now. Like once a year phone calls kind of low contact and instigated by him.

But ever since I was 17 I was no contact. I didn’t answer any phone calls from him, ignored texts too and I politely avoided events he’d be attending.

He showed up at my mom’s house asking to speak to me and I agreed so he’d leave her the heck alone. He told me he wants to work on his relationship with all of us but I’m the hardest one to reach.

No kidding.

I told him there was a reason for that. He said he gets I’m angry but he loves me and he didn’t cheat on me and while his actions hurt everyone it’s been over a decade now and it’s time to move on.

I told him I moved on without him. He said he was never a bad father and he tried so hard and he’s willing to keep trying, to do anything.

He told me I have half siblings too and they don’t know any of us and he finds it so tragic because they don’t deserve to be punished for it. He asked why I won’t try to repair us. He said I can take years if I need to but to try.

The guilt trip!

I told him that unfortunately, I will probably always love him in some way because he’s my dad. But I do not want him and that AP of his around me.

I told him I do not want to see them together at future milestones in my life. I don’t want to deal with what my future kids will call her. I don’t respect their marriage or them as people, but especially her because I have zero love for her, and anything I feel for him is because of before.

But he’s not that guy. He’s a cheater. She’s someone who knowingly had an affair with a married man and she was nothing to me ever. I told him that his idea of a happy family where we all get along is not happening.

Extremely hard to get over.

He asked me if I’d have a relationship with just him. I told him maybe at one point if I could have if I could find it in me to believe what he says and only because of that love I still have for him. But I already know he’s deceitful and that eventually he’ll grow tired of me not involving his AP or his other kids.

He left pretty angry and my siblings told him he can accept their once a year calls or f*** off and they’ll ignore him like I do.

I also blocked him everywhere after our talk. They haven’t taken the step yet but he thinks I was wrong to say what I did about his marriage and the AP and all the rest. AITA?

Reddit overwhelmingly sided with the son, validating his choice to go no contact and refusing to normalize his father’s affair-turned-marriage.

This person says Dad went about this all wrong.

This person validates that OP doesn’t owe his dad anything.

And this person says he absolutely DID cheat on the son, in a way.

Dad wants a do-over, but actions have consequences…

Not everyone gets a second season after a series finale like that.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.