Financial responsibility between divorced parents often quickly blurs, especially as children grow older.

One father refused to give his college-bound son an allowance until his ex-wife raised her child support payments, sparking a tense standoff in their already fractured family.

Was he wrong to put his son in the middle of this situation?

Read on for the full story.

AITA: No College Allowance

My son is going to college next year in an expensive city, and I want him to have a very healthy allowance, as I believe he will have enough things to worry about in college without adding finances or the need for a job to the list.

That said, I’ve told him I won’t give him any money unless he first gets an “allowance raise” from his mother (my ex-wife).

She is unwilling to change his allowance, so this has created a rift in their relationship, and they are currently not talking.

My logic is that I give her $2,000 a month for child support. All she pays for is his cell phone and his allowance.

He feels like he’s already paying for more than his fair share, but of course, his ex-wife disagrees.

For college, I am paying his tuition, housing, food, books, car, and insurance.

She says she needs to keep $1,500–$1,750 a month and will give him $250–$500 a month, but she won’t tell him what she is spending the $1,500–$1,750 on.

It seems clear that it is covering her personal expenses, not his expenses.

It seems he should get at least half of the child support as allowance. He is moving 300+ miles away.

He feels it’s only fair to call her out on this, regardless of the impact it might have on his son.

I feel bad creating stress between my son and his mother, but it seems crazy that she wants me to give him an allowance when I’m already paying for almost everything and I give her such a healthy child support payment.

I feel like she is simply embezzling money from him.

AITA?

In trying to hold his ex accountable, he may have unintentionally put his son in the middle.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter thinks this father is going about it all wrong.

If he wants to make a change, he should do it through the proper channels.

This user doesn’t think he’s showing care to his son.

Maybe he’s doing this for all the wrong reasons.

He stood his ground, but it came at the expense of his son.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.