Imagine being a parent to a child with multiple birth defects that prevent her from living a normal life.

If you tried everything to help her and prolong her life, would you look back and think you did the right thing, or would you have regrets?

The parent in today’s story has some regrets. Let’s find out why.

I held on too long and all it did was hurt my daughter

My daughter had multiple congenital birth defects that led to a lifetime of complications.

With medically complex kids you fix one problem and create two more.

She lived 11 years. It was probably 9 years too long.

She lived most of her life in hospitals. Literally months at a time.

This is really sad.

She would sometimes be home a week or two and then end up back in.

I don’t think she ever spent more than two consecutive months out of the hospital in her entire life, until she went on palliative care.

She was more comfortable in the hospital than anywhere else.

How sad is that.

It was a tough life.

She was the “warrior” kid. That was her whole identity.

Making cards for her nurses and decorating her medical equipment and being Tough with a capital T.

That was all she had.

She didn’t have much of a life.

Never went to school, not in any meaningful capacity.

Never played a sport or an instrument.

Never had any real friends to speak of.

Never had the health to take up any real hobbies.

Just an entire life made up of surgeries, shots and nurses and medical equipment to decorate. I

gave her a pathetic life.

Her daughter was eventually ready to stop holding on.

There wasn’t a single intervention I wasn’t willing to put her through to buy more time.

She was the happiest, most accepting kid I’ve ever met but in the last six months she was done.

I refused to listen.

She asked me over and over again if she could just “stop”.

She wasn’t ready for her daughter to let go.

I would push until she shut up and went along with what I wanted.

Why did I do that.

She wanted to make me happy but she knew she was done.

Selfish.

This is so sad.

She died incredibly agitated and upset.

I think she was scared to let go because she knew what it was going to do to me.

I wasn’t strong enough to let go. I’m so so sorry.

Okay, I’m not crying. You’re crying.

Seriously, what a sad way for this mother to think about everything. She needs to stop beating herself up and possibly go to therapy to deal with the trauma of this tragic situation.

Let’s see what Reddit suggests.

She can’t hold onto this guilt.

This person expresses sympathy.

Another person reassures her that she’s a good person.

Therapy is a good idea.

Here’s another wish for peace.

Her daughter wouldn’t want her to feel so much guilt.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.